How to Deal With Difficult Step Children

In blended families, children from previous marriages become part of the family. Stepchildren can be a challenge at first, as establishing a solid relationship can take work and is a major adjustment. If you have a difficult stepchild, one that is closed off or acts out, then this adjustment can be even more challenging. Learn some steps to deal with a difficult stepchild and help alleviate the tension.

Instructions

    • 1

      Talk to your spouse about your role as a parent in the household. Enforce that the main disciplining and authority will come from the parent and not the step-parent, especially if your stepchild feels animosity towards you. This will help him feel less threatened by your presence.

    • 2

      Draw up a list of rules with your spouse about how your household should work and how everyone should behave. Rules can include chores and setting up rewards and punishments for good and bad behavior. If the child's other parent is also in the picture, include her to help keep a consistent lifestyle between the households.

    • 3

      Go over the rules with the child, and any other children in the house, and listen to his input. If all can agree, the family can work together to build a happy household. If the child or children have some issues, listen openly to them and try to come to a consensus on the rules.

    • 4

      Talk with your stepchild about what she feels or what may be causing her to misbehave. Be patient and listen to everything she has to say, even if it may be difficult to hear. Discuss with her if there is anything you can do that will make her feel more comfortable in the household.

    • 5

      Plan for family time, such as nightly dinners or a game night, where attendance is mandatory. Regular family time can help alleviate tension, while allowing you to get know one another as a family. Find something your stepchild likes and try to bond over that, such as a certain sport or music genre.

    • 6

      Seek professional family counseling with the child and your spouse. Sometimes issues cannot be resolved at home, and in these cases an outside party can help you and her hash through the problems in a neutral environment.

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