How to Deal With Teenagers and Visitation Schedules

Teen-agers have different reactions to visitation than younger children and need a different kind of understanding and flexibility from parents.

Things You'll Need

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Instructions

    • 1

      Understand that teen-agers need different rules and schedules than smaller children.

    • 2

      Get a written copy of your teen's schedule, including job hours, sports events and practices, and extracurricular activities.

    • 3

      Attempt to make a visitation schedule that will accommodate your teen's activities. This does not mean canceling visitation when an event is planned. It does mean allowing the teen to participate, while allowing for time with both parents. If there's a football game on a visitation weekend, that parent should take the teen to the game and pick him or her up and then use the rest of the visitation time as usual.

    • 4

      Allow for studying. Teens have a larger amount of homework than younger children. Studying should be planned at both homes. Make sure books travel with the teen.

    • 5

      Set consistent rules in both homes. Both parents should have the same curfew, forbidden activities, and dating and phone rules.

    • 6

      Factor in the teen's friends and social life. Social activities should not be allowed to completely replace visitation, but they should also not be forgotten. Allow friends to visit at both homes.

    • 7

      Expect some conflicts and problems to arise. Deal with them calmly and rationally. Listen to your teen's point of view and have an exchange of thoughts, but remember that parents make the final decision.

    • 8

      Realize that as your child grows into a teen, he or she will have a greater understanding of what divorce is and why you split up. There may be more questions about what your marriage was like and details about the breakup. Answer only those you're comfortable with. Your personal life does not need to be shared. There are details that teens don't need to know.

    • 9

      Avoid making your teen your confidant or best buddy. You need to remain an authority figure. Your teen does not need you to talk about your anger or difficulties with the other parent.

    • 10

      Expect to encounter resistance to the custody and visitation plan from your teen. Teens will rebel against this just as they do against other rules in their lives. Stick to your guns and don't let your teen think he or she can make independent decisions about something that was ordered by a court.

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