The Impact of Extreme Parenting Styles

Overly Demanding Parenting Styles

• An overly demanding parent puts many rules and limitations on his children. As these rules pile up over the years, a child begins to feel restricted, lacking autonomy. This lack of power takes its toll on the child̵7;s psyche. Children respond to overbearing parents in different ways, none of which are particularly positive. For example, according to developmental psychologist John Gottman, author of ̶0;Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child,̶1; some children learn to be passive and yield to all requests and commands -- they never learn to stand up for themselves. Other children might engage in rebellious acts to gain that sense of power that they don̵7;t have at home. Overall, extreme rules and discipline tend to hurt children, though the parent̵7;s intent might be benign.

Overly Lenient Parenting Styles

• An overly lenient parent loves her child so much that she allows him to do nearly anything he wants. To this type of parent, ̶0;tough love̶1; is an oxymoron. But in real life, overly lenient parenting can lead to problems with a child̵7;s social skills. Rejection, in particular, becomes a difficult situation for children raised by overly lenient parents. Children who are used to getting whatever they want are not prepared to deal with the rejection they receive from their peers, which can damage a person̵7;s ability to form intimate relationships in the teen years and beyond. In general, an overly lenient parenting style leads to children who are self-centered, which isn̵7;t a successful life strategy in the adult world.

Overly Dismissive Parenting Styles

• Overly dismissive parents tend to push aside the worries, hopes and other emotions their child expresses. Such a parent might believe that children worrying over whether they̵7;ll be invited to the popular kid̵7;s party is petty and not worthy of discussion. An overly dismissive parent tends to give little emotional support to his children, thereby leaving his kids to fend for themselves throughout the emotional world of childhood. But without emotional regulation practice and without the ability to discuss proper decision making, these children tend to have problems controlling their emotions and making good choices. These children must find nonparental role models as their emotional and decision guides, which can be a problem if they choose a negative influence such as an antisocial peer.

Example Outcomes

• Many of the instances of ̶0;problem children̶1; are, in fact, instances of poor parenting. Bullies, for example, tend to be children who are engaging in a game of power, hoping to fulfill their need for autonomy. Many times, bullies grow up in overbearing families. Yet some other bullies come from overly dismissive parents, as these children have a desire for attention, a desire they fulfill in a negative way, such as by teasing or hitting others. Antisocial children and children who engage in risky behavior also tend to come from households with extreme parenting styles. Children who make the poor decisions to engage in drug use, vandalism or violence often come from overly permissive families, ones that do not teach the importance of boundaries and self-control, according to the article "Relationships Between Parenting Styles and Risk Behaviors in Adolescent Health" published in the journal "Artigo de Revisão."