How to Handle Multiple Behavior Problems in Children
Children with behavior problems seldom have just one behavior that causes difficulty. These wonderfully complex children often exhibit a host of behaviors that play off of one another to create what may seem to be an unmanageable child. The key to changing behaviors is to work on one or two at a time, while ignoring the others.
Things You'll Need
- Rewards
Instructions
Evaluate the behaviors that are causing the most difficulty for you and your child. It is important to isolate behaviors and work on one or two at a time. Once these behaviors are under control, you can work on new behaviors. One of the biggest mistakes that parents and workers make when attempting to change behaviors is that of trying to correct everything at once. This simply will not work. Your child will be overwhelmed and you will give up in exhaustion when he balks at your attempts. It is much easier and less stressful for all involved to target the most troublesome behavior first. Observe your child carefully for a day or two to determine exactly what the problem behavior is. It is easy to misidentify the behavior because so many behaviors overlap. You may think that the biggest problem is that your child does not comply with your requests when in reality he is unable to follow multiple step directions. Assuming that he isn't flat out ignoring you, if he attempts to follow your request, but fails to follow through after the first step, the behavior you want to address is the inability to follow multiple step directions. Although it is similar, it is a different process. Failure to comply is the act of ignoring or questioning authority. Failure to follow through with all the steps can be the result of a processing disorder, inattention or distractibility. You will need to address them differently. Identify the behavior and what you would like to see your child do instead. It is important to be very clear on what your expectations are. If you are not clear you will not know if your child is successful. Sit down with the child and tell her exactly what you expect from her. Be very specific. Being general will allow too much room for error. If you want your child to put away her toys the moment you ask, let her know this. If you are willing to give her a few minutes advance notice, let her know this too. Consider what compliance looks like to you. If your goal is simply that she picks up her toys, it may not matter to you if she does it cheerfully and gently; but if you expect it to be done with no back talk and no anger you will need to communicate this to your child ahead of time. Otherwise you will run the risk of a battle over whether or not she actually complied. Give this some thought before you set up your ground rules. Offer rewards for changed behavior. You may wish to use a token system or a chart where you child earns stars or tokens for each success. It is often beneficial to require the child to earn a certain number of tokens or stars to redeem for a special event, free time or a special item. You could even let him earn the privilege of staying up later to watch a favorite show. Expect some days to be more successful than others and be patient with your child ass he learns new behaviors.
