Types of Behavior Management

1...2...3...Counting

• This method involves the "three strikes and you're out" concept. Tell the child that he gets three chances before being sent to his room for a predetermined amount of time. The first time his behavior strays from what is expected, say "one." Second time, respond simply with "two". The third time, send him directly to his room and set the timer. A common guideline is one minute per year of age. For example, for a four-year-old the time would be four minutes. In the beginning, younger children may have to be physically taken to their rooms and will probably try to leave. Each time they leave, simply take them back in and re-start the timer. Be firm with this. This method sets boundaries, gives plenty of warning and then offers consequences when boundaries are crossed.

Positive Reinforcement

• Positive reinforcement can be used as a tool to build confidence, boost self-esteem, correct bad behavior and reinforce good behavior. For this method to work, there are five key concepts to remember. Always face the child and make eye contact. This is important because it lets the child know that she has the adult's undivided attention. Always let the child speak and let her complete her sentences. Do not interrupt. Listening to the child is good for her confidence and self-esteem. Never label the child; instead of saying the child is "bad", emphasis should be placed on the action and not the child himself. For example; "Sam, you're a bad boy!" undermines a child's confidence. Instead say; "Sam, leaving your toys on the stairs was very irresponsible." Help the child learn how to speak positively and as often as possible, start your discipline conversations with reinforcing, positive comments before discussing the infraction. But be sure that any compliment paid is truthful, otherwise trust may become an issue.

Time-Out

• For Time-Out to be effective, boundaries need to be set ahead of time. Decide what infractions will result in Time-Outs: hitting, aggression, etc. Choose a place for Time-Out: somewhere non-threatening like a chair, a special bench, a stair, etc. When the behavior becomes unacceptable, give one warning and if it happens again, put the child in the designated Time-Out zone. Set a timer so that the child knows how long she has been in Time-Out and how much longer she has. A recommended guideline is one minute per year of age. If she gets up, calmly place her back in Time-Out and if desired, reset the timer. Do not discuss the behavior when Time-Out is concluded.

The Reward System

• Rewarding a child for good behavior can be done through charts and games. Choose a chart; there are several to choose from on the Super Nanny site, or get creative and make one. Before using it, decide together what the reward will be. Maybe it will be the toy he's been begging for, a new book or a special "date" with mom or dad. Then start placing stickers on the chart. Add one for good behavior and remove one for bad behavior, so the child recognizes that there are consequences for breaking the rules. When the chart is full, the child will get the agreed-on reward. If there are specific issues within the house that need to be addressed, such as bedtime or aggressive behavior, the charts can focus on these issues, rather than just good behavior in general. The Super Nanny site recommends laminating the chart for reuse.

  Games can also be used for behavior management by utilizing the reward system. For example, set the timer and give the child a specific amount of time to do a task. If he beats the time, he receives a reward. For this kind of reward, consider keeping a bag or box full of small, inexpensive toys or items for the child to choose from.