Parenting and Discipline Problems

While no mom or dad wants to have a child with poor behaviors, parenting and discipline problems unfortunately go hand-in-hand. From the toddler tantrums of the terrible twos to the preschooler's overly precocious ways, and beyond into the older child's defiance, parenting often involves redirecting or correcting your child's actions. Although this isn't one of the more pleasant parts of parenting, finding and using positive discipline strategies is an absolute necessity when raising a healthy child.

  1. Toddlers

    • During the toddler years, your little one is up on his feet moving around and just beginning on his quest for independence. That said, he still has a fairly immature sense of emotional development. The toddler's inability to understand, identify and express his emotions may translate into temper tantrums or outbursts. The child development experts at the Kids Health website suggest that parents act as an example and keep calm during a tantrum, redirecting the child to another -- more positive -- activity. Another effective discipline option is to put the toddler in time out. Parents can also use this strategy for other discipline issues, such as defiance or even aggressive acts like hitting and biting. Move the child to a quiet space that is free from distractions, such as a television or toys, for one minute per year of the child's age. For example, your 2 year old can have a two-minute-long time out when he won't stop taking his sister's favorite toy without asking.

    Preschoolers

    • Like toddlers, time outs are an effective discipline technique that parents can use with preschool-aged children. Although preschoolers typically have the emotional and self-regulation skills to control and express their tempers in a positive way, such as talking instead of hitting and screaming, it isn't uncommon for a 3 to 5 year old to still have the occasional tantrum. Removing the child from the scene of the tantrum and placing her in time out will calm her down and help her to regroup. Additionally, children in the preschool years are beginning to understand that there are rules and consequences. The experts at the Kids Health website suggest that parents explain expectations for behavior and consequences for misbehavior before simply dishing out the discipline. This will help the child to consider her actions before she breaks the rules.

    Older Kids

    • Discipline problems that older kids face typically have less to do with self-control issues -- as compared to younger children -- and more to do with a growing sense of independence, school and peers. As with preschoolers, use rules and consequences to discipline an older child in grade school or above. Make sure that the consequences are age appropriate and fit the misbehavior. For example, taking away a cookie snack may work as a consequence for a 4 year old, but won't cut it with a fourth grader. Another option is to allow the consequences to unfold naturally. This means that instead of hovering over your child and nagging him to do something such as his homework, let him see what happens as a result of his inability to follow the school rules. Chances are that a failing grade or negative comment from a teacher will help him to turn around his behavior.

    Negative Discipline

    • When choosing a discipline strategy to use with your child, keep in mind that some techniques never work. Above that, some forms of more punitive discipline are actually harmful, or even abusive, to your child. In describing the differences between discipline and punishment, the Virginia Cooperative Extension notes that physical and verbal punishments don't correct discipline problems in an effective way. Spanking, hitting or shaming a child will only make her afraid of you and possibly hate herself. Instead of understanding that her behavior isn't acceptable, aggressively punishing a child will make her feel that she is "bad."

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