How to Tell Your Child a Parent Is in Prison?
When a family member is incarcerated, the surrounding family experiences related repercussions of the difficult situation. While imprisonment is difficult for everyone, it can be especially traumatic and challenging for children. While you may wish you could shield your children from this unpleasant reality, it̵7;s important not to compound the difficulties with untruths and outright lies, advises the Action for Prisoners̵7; Families website. If you have to tell your child that his parent is in prison, handle it carefully to ensure your child receives adequate support.
Instructions
Choose a time to discuss the incarceration with your child when you can devote the necessary time to beginning and completing the conversation. The time you choose should be free of distractions and outside stress to enable you and your child to focus on the conversation fully. Tell your child that his father made a mistake and, because of that mistake, the law states that he needs to spend some time in prison as a consequence. Tell your child clearly that his father̵7;s incarceration has nothing to do with him and he has no fault or responsibility in the situation, advises Lloyd Withers, national coordinator of the Canadian Families and Corrections Network. Remind your child that his father loves him very much and probably wishes very much that he could be with him right now. Give your child as much information about what the incarceration will be like as you can. For example, if your child can visit his parent in prison, explain that he will have this option. If your child can correspond with his parent by mail or by telephone, mention this information as well. Describe a prison, if your child seems interested. You might tell your child that prisoners stay in very small rooms with only a bed, a desk, a sink and a toilet, according to a ̶0;Caregivers Guide̶1; published by the Initiative Foundation. Tell your child that prisoners eat in a special room, they wear special clothes, they get to go outside every day, they may have special jobs and they may take classes to learn new skills or information. A prisoner needs to stay at the prison, though, until a judge says he can leave. Invite your child to ask questions if he has any. Your child may have many questions, a few or none at all, depending on his age and the way he processes this information. Strive to answer all questions as truthfully as you can without divulging excessive or potentially traumatic details. For example, if the parent committed a violent crime, you might tell your child that his father lost his temper and did something to someone else that he shouldn̵7;t have. Reassure your child that just because his parent made a mistake and is in prison, this doesn̵7;t mean the same thing will happen to him. Some children worry about making similar mistakes because parents did. Encourage your child to make positive choices and to treat people respectfully and he should have a successful and meaningful life.
