Do Parents' Problems Cause a Bully?

The Causes of a Bully

• Because bullies come from many backgrounds, no one can tell whether a certain type of child will turn out to be a bully. Barring genetic psychopathy as a cause, bullies either learn their negative behavior or simply react impulsively due to a need not being filled such as the need for attention or the need for control. Much of what causes a bully is environmental. How a child interacts with his peers, what his parents teach him and who he sees as his role models are major contributing factors. In many cases, parents who find their children engaging in bullying should look at themselves, and possible influences at school and in extracurricular activities.

Parents As Role Models

• Children still look to parents as their role models. In this respect, parental problems, if habitual, can rub off onto children. A father who responds to stress and anger by yelling, for instance, is implicitly telling his kids that yelling solves problems. Bully-type behavior in parents could very well lead to a child mimicking such behavior in the school yard.

Reactions to Parents̵7; Personal Problems

• Problems between parents can have a devastating effect on children. Divorce is one such example of a problem that leads to unpredictable emotional changes in a child. Child care specialists from McKenzie Pediatrics in Springfield, Oregon, mention in their report ̶0;Divorce: Its Impact on Children and How Parents Can Make Things Easier̶1; that the child reaction to parental divorce can take on any emotion in the spectrum of emotions. While some children will turn away from the world, others will act out on the world, sometimes expressing their anger through harassing or assaulting others. According to Edward Dragan, author of ̶0;The Bully Action Guide,̶1; expressions like this often allow a child who feels like they have little control in their lives to gain a sense of control over their environment, usually at the expense of others. A child who cannot cope with problems between parents or other family problems that are out of the child̵7;s control might cope through bullying.

Parenting Styles

• Cornell University̵7;s doctor of child development Kimberly Kopko points out in her report, ̶0;Parenting Styles,̶1; that research shows some parenting styles have consistently negative outcomes. Negative parenting tends to be either overbearing or overly permissive. Parents who are overbearing put strict and unreasonable limitations on their children, which results in children feeling powerless. To gain a sense of power, these children find ways in which they can be the ones in control. In some cases, this means bullying. Parents who are overly permissive, on the other hand, put few limits on their children. The result is obvious to many moms: Children who are out of control, believing they should always get what they want. On the schoolyard, this could mean a spoiled child pushing around smaller children to get her way. In the classroom, it might mean taking others̵7; toys. For either case, parents need to change their parenting styles.