Do Family Dinners Affect Closeness of Families?

Measuring Family Ties

• For research purposes, the closeness of families is typically defined in terms of how family dinners reduce problematic behaviors in children and teens. The Importance of Family Dinners VI, a report from The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, found teens in families that seldom eat dinner together are twice as likely to have used tobacco, one and a half times likelier to have used marijuana, and almost twice as likely to have used alcohol. Teens who infrequently have family dinners are also one and a quarter times more likely to state that they have friends who use illegal drugs such as cocaine or methamphetamine.

Talk, Time and Teamwork

• On the Psych Central website, Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D., says that family togetherness is the result of talk, time and teamwork. Family dinners help families feel closer because they provide a chance for talking and spending time together. The element of teamwork comes into play when the family works together to prepare the meal or clean up afterward. A survey by Lindsay A. Schwarz from Eastern Illinois University found that 96 percent of respondents believed shared meals helped strengthen the bonds between family members, so popular parental opinion seems to agree with Hartwell-Harker's statement.

Frequency of Meals Together

• When discussing the benefits of family dinners, it's important to consider the frequency of the meals. The University of Florida Extension says parents should aim for family dinners four or more nights per week. The Columbia University study previously mentioned showed benefits when families ate together five to seven times per week. It is OK if your schedule doesn't permit family dinners every night as long as the majority of meals are eaten together and you're working to create some sort of consistency in the family routine.

Number of Family Members Present

• If possible, a family dinner should include the majority of family members. A study by Cornell University suggests that family dinners are most beneficial when both parents are present. Having siblings in attendance is important, but it seems that a parental presence is the most valuable. Having parents available during family meals is particularly important during the teen years, when peer pressure and body image issues become developmental concerns. Cornell's research found that teens who eat regular meals with their parents engage in fewer high-risk behaviors, eat healthier foods, have improved psychological well-being and show greater academic achievement than their peers who do not regularly take part in family meals.

Presence of Distractions

• To gain the maximum benefit from family meals, you need to turn off the television, ask everyone to put down their cell phones and talk to each other. On the "Mind Publications" website, Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D., says family dinners can make families closer if everyone feels like the dinner table is a safe place to come together. Parents should take the time to ask about everyone's day, discuss current events and celebrate accomplishments such as a child getting an A on a difficult test or Dad landing an important new client.

Alternatives to Family Dinners

• If you have an older child involved in multiple extracurricular activities or your work schedule requires frequent late nights at the office, you might feel like family dinner is a hopeless task. Fortunately, researchers seem to agree that many of the same benefits associated with family dinner can be gained by sharing lunch or breakfast together. The time of day is less important than the motivation behind the shared mealtime ritual.