Customs of French Parents

Many French child-rearing customs arise from a view of the child as a part of an integrated family and a belief in the importance of balance in life. In the French view, a child-centric approach allowing all else to be subordinate to the child's perceived wants and needs is not well-balanced. It's not seen as healthy for the child, not in the short or long term, nor for the family as a whole. French parents tend to be more authoritative and to have higher behavioral expectations for their children -- expectations that are generally met.

  1. Allow Infants Opportunity to Self-Soothe

    • In the French view, a baby sleeping through the night is important for the well-being of the entire family. Well-rested parents are likely to experience less stress and more happiness, resulting in better parenting overall. Unlike more child-centered parenting styles, French parents tend to use what Pamela Druckerman, a former "Wall Street Journal" correspondent and author of ̶0;Bringing Up Bebe,̶1; refers to as ̶0;the pause.̶1; They don't respond instantly to waking up noises. Instead, they pause and listen, giving the baby the opportunity to settle himself and drift back to sleep. A baby needs the opportunity to self-soothe to learn how. It's an important developmental skill, serving as the foundation for such toddler lessons as patience and waiting one's turn. ̶0;The pause̶1; is a French parenting custom that has been used for generations.

    Skip the Kiddie Menu

    • French parents often take the long view of child-rearing, something reflected in many parenting customs. From the very start, French children are encouraged to eat and enjoy adult food, rather than the bland, often highly processed kiddie fare found in many Western countries. It is customary for children to at least try everything they are served, even if they don't eat it all. Because there is one snack time, at 4 p.m., instead of snacking all day, French children are ready to eat when their meal is served. This approach helps to form the food preferences and habits of a lifetime. Children are also taught the social elements of dining from the time they join the family at the table for meals, including good table manners and polite conversation skills.

    Public Reprimands and Corporal Punishment

    • French children are expected to behave and their parents typically correct misbehavior immediately, whether in public or private. The effects of disruptive behavior extend beyond the child, according to the French view. Part of being a part of an integrated whole is understanding that. If a child is loud in a theater, not only is he interfering with the rest of the family's enjoyment of the film, but also that of everyone else in earshot. Therefore, that sort of behavior is corrected right away. French parents will sharply scold a child in a public place, in front of other people, if the circumstance requires it. Corporal punishment is also a part of French customs relating to child discipline.

    Plenty of Freedom Within Well-defined Boundaries

    • In certain areas of behavior, French parents are strict. However, within the ̶0;cadre̶1; or frame, as Druckerman describes the sharply defined behavioral boundaries that are the custom of French parents, children have a lot of freedom. They are encouraged to make use of that freedom, to act independently within the confines of the rules set by parents. Children go places alone at a younger age than do children in the United States. It is not unusual to see young children doing errands for parents or contentedly at play without an adult nearby. Helicopter parents, hovering around children as they play in playgrounds or at other activities, are rarely seen among French parents. Having a certain degree of freedom is essential to developing a range of life skills, including problem-solving and conflict resolution. French parenting customs keep in mind the type of adult that child-rearing will produce.

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