Discussing Trauma With Kids

Trauma can have long-lasting effects on children, whether they are involved in a trauma, know a friend who went through a traumatic experience or witnessed one on TV. Discussing trauma with your children can help them understand it and cope. However, you need to find the right balance between answering your children's questions and providing too much information.

  1. Answer Questions

    • After a traumatic event occurs, whether within your family, hometown, nation or another nation, your kids will likely have questions. Be there to answer their questions and help them understand the trauma in age-appropriate ways. You might face difficult questions from kids, who wonder why the trauma occurred and if it will happen again. The University of Michigan Health System recommends you answer questions on a level your children will understand without providing graphic or excessive details. Do not give too much information, and be willing to admit that you do not have all the answers.

    Take Their Lead

    • Every child responds differently to a trauma, according to the American Psychological Association, so you should follow your kids' lead when it comes to addressing the traumatic event. Don't force your children to talk about the trauma, but listen when they do want to discuss it. If your child appears distressed, give both physical and oral reassurance -- giving extra hugs and kisses and telling your kids you will protect them.

    Use Different Outlets

    • While some kids will want to sit down and talk with you about the traumatic event, others might be reserved, stifling their feelings and not wanting to discuss their concerns. For these children, expressing their feelings using different outlets might be effective. An artistic child, for example, might want to draw a picture to share his feelings, while a musical one might want to listen to soothing music or write a song. Let your child express his feelings in the manner that best fits his personality.

    Ask Questions

    • If your child shows an interest in talking about the trauma, engage her in questions about it. Questions are particularly appropriate for children who are ages 6 and older, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Ask what worries your child and how you can help them cope. Encourage your kids to come to you with any questions or concerns about the trauma. By asking an already talkative child if she has questions, you can help her talk through the traumatic event.

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