How to Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Be accountable. Perhaps you yelled at your children because you were tired at the end of a long day. Maybe you snapped at your partner who was talking your ear off about things you really weren't interested in. Maybe you honked your horn and gave an obscene gesture to an erratic driver who cut you off. Even if the other person was out of line, you are responsible for yourself. Whatever you do, you are responsible for your actions. If your kids are feisty, your partner unreasonable, your coworker unbearable, you are always responsible for how you respond. Your behavior is under your control.

Stop blaming. It is easy to point the finger. In fact, you can build a case against anyone. But blaming others doesn't help you become a responsible person. When you stop pointing the finger, you have control over yourself. Just because the other person is a jerk, don't be one yourself.

Acknowledge what happened. When you acknowledge, "Yes, I forgot to call when I said I would," you eliminate the need to make up silly excuses. "I messed up" is the responsible three-word sentence, and when followed with "How can I make it up to you?" it makes people willing to forgive. Your integrity earns respect.

Accentuate the positive. Move through your day with positive attitude. Have you ever noticed that people who don't take responsibility for their own behavior are negative and cynical? The folks who blame others seem to have the worse luck. Anything that goes wrong is always that other person's fault. No wonder they don't achieve much happiness. They're perpetual victims. When you take responsibility for having the life you want, you switch your focus from what went wrong to what went right. A small shift in focus turns a loser into a winner.

See yourself clearly. Taking responsibility means acknowledging both your weaknesses and strengths. It means acknowledging all that is wonderful about you. When you take responsibility you know your talents and put them to use. You know when you've done a good job. You appreciate your efforts. You are kind to yourself. A responsible person does not dismiss her own achievements. She knows her good and positive qualities. She has a complete picture of who she is. A responsible person continues to grow emotionally.

Say "thank you." Accept praise graciously. When someone acknowledges you, say, "thank you." When someone is kind or gives you a gift, the responsible response is a sincere "thank you."

Practice healthy self-focus. Thinking too much about our own problems, worrying endlessly about the future, regretting the past, and feeling sorry for ourselves can lead to indulgent self-pity. It's exhausting. However, taking time to really know what makes you tick, in a gentle, reflective way is the beginning of self-love and personal responsibility. When you get acquainted with your hurts, your limitations, your gifts and talents, you grow into the best person that you can be. Then you are alive and living your best life.