How to Tell a Preschooler About Deceased Grandparents

The death of a loved one is a hard topic to discuss with anyone, but it's especially difficult to explain to a preschooler. While you are dealing with your own feelings of sadness and grief, it's important to make sure that your preschooler has the best understanding he can of what happened as well. There are number of things to keep in mind when telling a preschooler about the death of a grandparent.

Instructions

    • 1

      Explain clearly that Grandma or Grandpa died. Use simple language to convey the meaning of death to your child. For example, explain that when someone dies, his body stops working. Tell your preschooler that death can occur when people are very old or very sick and that even doctors can't make them better.

    • 2

      Use specific language. Talking to your preschooler about death by using euphemisms can confuse him, notes the BabyCenter website. Don't say that Grandpa "went away" or "is resting." To a preschooler, that might sound like the grandparent will come back at some point or will wake up eventually.

    • 3

      Allow your preschooler to ask questions. These questions might come immediately, or she might come back with questions after any period of time. Listen to the questions your child is asking carefully. Answer these questions honestly. It's OK to share your opinions about death and the afterlife with your child, but do so in bite-size portions that she'll understand without scaring her. Be sure to reassure her that her deceased grandparent is fine and that she still has plenty of people to take care of her. It's also OK to admit that you don't have an answer to a question about death or the afterlife.

    • 4

      Read an age-appropriate children's book about death with your child as this might help him open up about how he is feeling. "Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs" is a classic story by Tomie dePaola about a little boy who loses his grandmother. In ̶0;When Your Grandparent Dies: A Child's Guide to Good Grief̶1; by Victoria Ryan, the little elves, who are the main characters of the story, depict the difficult days before and after, as well as beyond a grandparent's death. This book also includes ideas for a discussion with your child.

    • 5

      Express your own emotions. Preschoolers are intuitive and will notice that you are acting differently. It's alright for you to explain that you are sad because you miss their grandparent. If your preschooler sees you crying, tell him that sometimes grownups need to cry, too.

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