How to Help a Child Who Is Being Bullied

If your child is being bullied, there are specific things you can do to help. All children need to learn to stand up for themselves and be their own advocate; however, children cannot and should not be expected to stand up to bullies all by themselves. That can lead to frustration, anxiety, depression and worse. Parents, schools and community members have to be advocates for all children and stop bullies. This may take work though. Bullying is no longer just the schoolyard bully who takes their lunch money. Bullying can include social isolation, cyber bullying, rumor spreading and other more subtle and covert practices. Because these are harder to see, and because kids fear that telling someone will only aggravate the bully and make things worse, it is hard for adults to even know that bullying is occurring. However, strategies are available to you to keep informed and to intervene.

Instructions

    • 1

      Be informed about what is happening by talking to your child. Children may not open up at first. Some kids may not want to tattle or may have a hard time opening up; however, the more you talk with them the more the lines of real communication will open up. Encourage your child to open up to you, but make sure she understands the difference between reporting and tattling.

    • 2

      Help your child develop a circle of good friends around him. Kids who are socially isolated are far more apt to be victims of bullies. Kids need friends they can stick up for and who will stick up for them. Community sports and school clubs are a great way for your child to start forming a circle of positive friendships.

    • 3

      Discuss and role-play strategies for dealing with bullies. This includes what to say and do during an altercation and immediately afterward. Under stress, everyone tends to think slower and have a harder time coming up with what to say. Practicing a response will make it much easier. The response could be to turn and walk away and report the incident, or it could include a verbal response directly to the bully.

    • 4

      Monitor closely. Monitoring should be done by school staff, parents and others. Adults can intervene easier if they catch it happening. Obviously, kids cannot be watched 24 hours a day, but way too often, bullying happens where there is little to no monitoring. Also monitor your child for any emotional signs of being bullied and get professional help if needed.

    • 5

      Discuss the situation with the parents of the bully and with school staff, or other adults who are in the setting where it is happening -- and expect a zero-tolerance policy for bullying. That does not necessarily mean that you will always get the cooperation you are seeking, but it does result in success sometimes, and it sends a message to your child that you will be her advocate and follow through.

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