Ways to Change Oppositional Behavior in Children

Don't Get Emotional

• Any oppositional child can often make parents extremely angry, but it's not the best way to respond. When you become angry, it feeds the emotion of the situation. With oppositional children, a small argument can easily escalate and build into a serious confrontations. Instead of getting angry, recognize when your child is trying to start an argument, and force yourself to be unnaturally calm. This will often diffuse the situation.

Rules and Enforcement

• Oppositional children respond better when rules are absolutely clear, and when the consequences for breaking rules are well understood. It's also very important for parents to be consistent when enforcing rules. Oppositional children are especially prone to trying to argue their way out of a punishment, and when parents relent to this kind of behavior, it only serves as encouragement.

Don't Respond to Abuse

• If your child becomes abusive, you should try to short-circuit the whole conversation. Make sure the child understands that any kind of abusive behavior will immediately result in the end of the discussion. Discontinuing conversation is often actually a good punishment for oppositional children. You're teaching the child that discussions should be conducted in a civil manner, and the consequence is directly related to the rule, which makes things clear in the child's mind.

Positive Reinforcement

• Look for ways to reward good behaviors from your child. When you punish an oppositional child, it can turn into an argument, and while this may be necessary, it's better when you can focus on the positive. When the child follows your rules well without any prodding, you should occasionally give them a reward of some kind. However, don't let the child know about these rewards in advance or you'll end up in a bargaining situation where the child tries to manipulate you by offering to do good things for a reward or threatening to misbehave if rewards aren't given.