How to Set Limits and Boundaries

Setting limits and boundaries in a relationship is one way to let others know what you want and how you want it. You can set limits and boundaries within a romantic relationship, a professional relationship or with your own children. Knowing how to set boundaries and limits can be helpful to establishing healthy connections in a relationship, as well as teach others the importance of respect.

Instructions

    • 1

      Establish a list of the personal boundaries and limits that you want to see respected. In a romantic relationship, one boundary could be, "No talking about the past." In a professional relationship, it might mean being called Mrs. or Ms. instead of by your first name. And in a relationship with your child, it could mean, "When Mommy is on the phone, don't interrupt." You need to know what your boundaries and limits are before you can impose them onto other people.

    • 2

      Talk to the important people in your life about the boundaries and limits you would like to set up. Discuss why you feel these boundaries and limits are important within the context of the relationship. Be respectful but assertive when letting others know how you want the boundaries and limits executed within the relationship.

    • 3

      Establish appropriate consequences for what will happen when the boundaries or limits are crossed. This is especially important for children, as they will need the most help in learning to follow rules and respect limits. The consequences should be on par with the limit or boundary, and you will need to consistently enforce the consequence to ensure the boundary or limit is respected.

    • 4

      Create a rule/boundary chart for children to help them remember and follow the limits you have set up. Hang the chart where it will be visible to everyone in the family. This will ensure all family members know the limits, boundaries and consequences.

    • 5

      Speak with romantic or professional partners if a personal boundary has been violated. Let the individual know how you feel, and review the boundary you have set up with them. Let him or her know you will not tolerate people disrespecting you or the boundaries you have put in place.

    • 6

      Periodically reassess the boundaries and limits you have put on yourself and your relationships. Relationships are fluid and change frequently, meaning your boundaries and limits should change accordingly, too.

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