How to Teach Refusal Skills for Peer Pressure

Peer pressure happens all the time. It can be non-threatening, such as when your child is urged to dress a certain way or have a certain trendy hairstyle, or it can be dangerous, such as the pressure on him to use drugs or drink alcohol. Kids have a way of making other kids feel bad for not conforming to the group ideal of ̶0;cool̶1; or ̶0;normal,̶1; and the ramifications of giving in to peer pressure can be detrimental. It̵7;s tough for kids to stand out from the pack and refuse to do what everyone else is doing, but you have to teach your child that standing up to peer pressure is a lot cooler than giving in.

Instructions

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      Build your child̵7;s self-confidence. According to Kids Health, having confidence can make it easier for your child to refuse peer pressure and walk away, even if the other kids threaten to stop talking to her or start calling her names. You can do this by praising your child for making good decisions, by using positive words when you speak to her and by making sure she knows she is loved unconditionally.

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      Teach your child the refusal skill of thinking first, advises parenting.org, a part of the Boys Town Hospital family. When he is being pressured by his peers to do something, let him know that he needs to ask himself a few questions before he makes a decision. He should ask himself if this is something he wants to do, if it̵7;s something he could get in trouble for, why he̵7;s considering doing it and whether or not it̵7;s illegal. If, by asking himself these questions, the only reason he can come up with for doing something is that he̵7;s worried someone will make fun of him should he not, it̵7;s not worth it.

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      Help your child practice saying ̶0;no,̶1; advises Kids Health. It̵7;s a small word that holds a lot of power. Even if your child is scared to say no to someone or she̵7;s worried that her peers won̵7;t think she̵7;s cool anymore, help her practice saying it to keep her from getting in trouble or doing something she will regret. For example, teach her to hold her head high, her shoulders back and to look others in the eye while she calmly, clearly and firmly says ̶0;no.̶1; Practice makes perfect.

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      Give your child permission to use you as an excuse if he needs to. According to parenting.org, a good peer pressure refusal skill is blaming something on you to save face. It̵7;s a lot easier for most kids to do this than to risk their friends thinking they are scared or chicken. For example, if someone is pressuring your child to have an alcoholic drink, tell him it̵7;s OK to say, ̶0;I don̵7;t think so. If my mom smells beer on me she̵7;ll ground me forever and I won̵7;t be able to go to the beach with you and your family this summer.̶1; It gives your child the power to say no without upsetting anyone. Your child might be surprised how many of his friends say, ̶0;Yeah. I get it,̶1; and let it go at that.

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