Ways to Get Kids to Listen to Rules

One of the most challenging issues you as parents face is simply getting your child to listen. Whether you're already embroiled in the woes of a child who doesn't listen or taking preventive measures, consistency is your No. 1 ally. Being a consistent parent in all aspects of your life, from the mundane daily routine to the face-offs in the grocery store, is a technique that will improve your child's behavior and how well he listens to you. It is never too early to begin establishing the basics that lead to a child who listens: a consistent routine; clear guidelines; and fair, consistent discipline.

  1. The Benefits of Consistency

    • Consistency is a vital parenting tool. By being consistent in your interactions with your child throughout the day, you are building a sense of security where you establish trust between you and your child. This trust is a building block to your child understanding your expectations. In a consistent household your child knows exactly what responsibilities she has, what is expected of her and the consequences if she does not listen to your directions. This consistent, interlocking framework means your child is less likely to push the limits, test you and refuse to listen.

    Lack of Consistency

    • In a household that lacks consistency a child's world is in constant chaos. The child cannot live up to expectations that are always changing and so he adopts an independent mindset free of any rules you've established. A lack of consistent discipline further fuels confrontations between parent and child. According to the University of Alabama's parental assistance line, lack of consistency can cause your child to become confused about basic responsibilities and, worse, can lead to poor self-esteem and negative values. Your child's ability to listen to you, follow your rules and accept your guidance goes deeper than timeouts and punishment. Be consistent in your expectations, discipline methods and as much of your routine as possible to improve your child's willingness to listen to you in the short term, and avoid negative long-term consequences like poor self-esteem.

    How to Be Consistent

    • Your child will listen to you more when he has a firm foundation of respect for you as parents. Start by deciding what values are most important to you and make rules according to those values. If putting his toys away before dinner is important in your nightly routine, make that a rule. Decide on a consequence for each of the rules you make and be prepared to enforce them. Consequences should be appropriate for the rule and your child's age. Be consistent in your enforcement of the rules you set and just as consistent in your praise of his positive behaviors. This discourages the negative behavior and clearly defines your expectations, creating a reward system for listening to you and acting appropriately.

    Discipline Tactics

    • There are several ways to use discipline as a way to firmly remind your child that some behaviors, like refusing to listen, are not acceptable. FamilyDoctor.org recommends that parents opt to ignore unwanted behavior. This is effective when the particular behavior is attention-seeking such as a tantrum and works best when used over a period of time. When a child will not listen and you wish for an immediate result, timeouts may be a more effective form of discipline. However, to be effective the timeout setting should be in a consistent location and this form of discipline should be applied for a specific amount of time, usually one minute per year of age. No matter what form of discipline you use, avoid becoming overly emotional or overreacting when disciplining your child and, again, be consistent in your actions when doling out punishment.

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