Consequences of Bargaining & Threatening Kids to Eat

Dinner time might involve screaming, threatening, coaxing and bargaining, or it could involve more eating and enjoyment. If your situation is more like the first example, there are ways to transform it into the second. Your kid will actually feel more in control and powerful, which is what he wants when he refuses to eat, and your stress levels will decrease enough so you can actually enjoy your meals.

  1. Power Struggles

    • Meals do not have to involve massive power struggles with your child. He is trying to get control of the food situation in your home by throwing tantrums and refusing to eat. When you give in to these behaviors, you lose power, and he has negative control over the situation. However, you can maintain your control over the situation without losing your cool and escalating the situation.

    Positive Eating Power

    • Your child must listen to his own body to tell him when he is done eating. This is necessary to maintain a healthy weight. Even if he has refused to eat what you put on the table and he is hungry, he will eventually eat at some point. You do not have to make him something different or give him a snack. He may skip a meal or two, but it will not hurt him. PositiveParentingSolutions.com offers another helpful tactic: Remind your child that a human can go for days without eating, but that drinking water regularly is a must. In the end, the choice of whether or not to eat is your child̵7;s.

    Your Child's Issue

    • Avoid talking about how much or what your child chooses to eat at meal times. Prepare a meal that is healthy all the way around, then sit back and enjoy your own food. Make it clear that a meal will end at a certain time and that no food will be available until the next regular snack or meal. Do not give in to your child̵7;s whining for a snack. This will only reinforce the habit of not eating what is on the table when it is time to eat. If your child is hungry but does not want to eat what you have provided, it is not your issue to be concerned about. It is your child's. When you remember this, you can stay calmer throughout a meal.

    Bribing

    • Avoid bribing your child. When you say, ̶0;You can have dessert when you finish your peas,̶1; you teach your child that sweets are better than nutritious food. It reinforces the idea that dessert is better and it is a reward for eating something that is less appealing. It is better to not allow junk food as an option for your kids. Offer a couple of healthy alternatives instead.

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