What Happens When Parents Use Profanity Around Their Kids?

If you hear a common expletive coming out of your 3-year-old's mouth when he drops something on his foot, you might be temporarily taken aback. You might even ask him, with righteous indignation, where he ever learned such as word. However, when he says, "From you, Mommy," it might be time to evaluate your own use of profanity around your children and the possible effects it might have on them.

  1. Mimicry

    • Kids learn everything that comes out of their mouth by listening to other people, and since you're the person your child hears most, you're his first and most influential teacher. Naturally, your child will choose to mimic the words or phrases you least want him to learn and will repeat them at the most inopportune times.

    Disapproval

    • Once your child reaches the age where he has a strong sense of right and wrong and the desire to correct others-- 5-year-olds are classic for this behavior -- you can expect a pint-sized lecture from him when you swear. If you've told your child not to use certain words, you can be sure that your use of them won't go unnoticed. If you've made it a point to correct him when using curse words, give your child the same privilege to correct you when you let something fly, social worker James Lehman suggests. This shows your child that swearing isn't just a "Do as I say, not as I do" issue.

    Curbing Your Tongue

    • If you have a bad swearing habit, washing your own mouth out with soap probably won't work to curb it. To remind yourself, you might try some of the same techniques that you might use for your child. Make yourself a jar where you can deposit a dollar every time something unsavory slips out. Don't donate the money to your favorite charity or remove it yourself at the end of the week; you won't have any incentive to keep your dollars out of it. Instead, use the money for something you would rather not do, like taking your least favorite aunt to the opera, or make a deal with your partner and let him use the money for an activity of his choosing.

    Talking to Your Child

    • If you find yourself letting loose with a few choice words in a moment of frustration, talk to your child about it afterward and apologize, the Child Development Institute recommends. Explain that you don't like to hear the words you just said, it's not a good way to talk and it affects the way other people view you. Humble yourself a bit and let him know that you're human but working on your faults. Never, ever lash out with profanity against your child or another person and don't let them verbally abuse another person in this manner either.

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