Behavior Modification Models for Parents of Preteens

As your child grows into an adolescent preteen, you will undoubtedly be confronted with a variety of negative behaviors that need to be redirected as well as positive behaviors that you should reward. Creating a resolution for each specific behavior would take countless hours and, let̵7;s be realistic, you could never cover each one. You need to learn to effectively use your parental influence across different situations, according to Licensed Psychologist and parenting expert, Dr. Randy Cale. One successful way to accomplish this is to commit to behavior modification models.

  1. Plan Ahead

    • A behavior modification model is a plan of consequences for positive and negative behaviors and it is used to methodically influence behaviors. For example, your child talks back to you. To motivate your child to stop this behavior, implement negative consequences for talking back -- no television privileges for an evening, for example. Implement a consequence or reward for not talking back, for example, extra television privileges. Creating a behavior modification model will teach your preteen to self govern, and he will feel secure knowing exactly what consequences his behaviors will cause.

    Negative Behavior

    • Discussing results of negative behavior with your preteen beforehand will let him know that negative actions result in undesirable consequences. For example, ask your child to be in charge of feeding the dog each afternoon. Let him know he won̵7;t be allowed to play a game of ball after school if he doesn̵7;t do it. Following through is a must for developing a concrete relationship between cause and effect. It can be difficult for you to implement, but it will improve behavior over the long run.

    Positive Behavior

    • Positive reinforcement can lead to lifelong positive behaviors. Positive actions should result in desirable consequences. A great model for positive behavior modification is to set rewards for specific behaviors. For example, let your child know that although he may forget to feed the dog on occasion and lose his privilege to play ball in the afternoon with his friends, he could earn an extra reward if he remembers to do it for an entire week. A fun reward, for example, would be to allow him to spend extra time with his friends the following week, which would teach him that taking care of his responsibilities will produce positive outcomes. As a result, he will modify his behavior in the future.

    Choices for Change

    • Giving the child choices creates motivation for self commitment, as well as pride and honor in his own behavior. For example, give your preteen and other family members a list of jobs that need to be done around the house. Ask him to choose the jobs he will do. Agree on a motivating team reward, for example, movie night. Explain that if he doesn̵7;t finish his list of jobs, he will not be able to join the family for movie night. Follow through on this consequence.

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