How to Make a Middle Child Feel Special

The first born and the baby of the family tend to get special treatment, but that doesn't mean that the middle child is loved any less, Kevin Leman notes in his book "The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are." If your middle child perceives your love differently than you truly feel, find time to make him feel special. When your middle child gets plenty of parental attention, he'll feel special and loved rather than left out, as can happen for many middle children, Leman reports.

Instructions

    • 1

      Choose a set time to spend with just your middle child each day with a larger chunk of time reserved on the weekend. Make this time non-negotiable and don't make any other plans. Middle children often feel left out of the rest of the family, so having special one-on-one time of any length of time to look forward to can help make him feel special, according to Meri Wallace, author of "The Birth Order Blues."

    • 2

      Let your middle child make decisions on a regular basis, Leman recommends, though you shouldn't give your middle child decision-making power all of the time. Allow your middle child to choose who he wants to sit next to at the movies or let him be in charge of choosing the restaurant the family goes to after church on Sunday. When middle children feel like their opinion and desires are valued, they are more likely to feel special.

    • 3

      Stop and listen. Many middle children feel like no one listens to them, so stopping what you're doing and really listening to him will send the message that you think he's special and worth listening to, according to Wallace.

    • 4

      Encourage your child to pursue his passions. Because middle children don't always feel valued, letting them engage in something that interests them can help them feel special. It's also essential that you take time to watch him, such as attending his soccer games or band performances. Paying attention to your middle child is a powerful way to send the message that he's important to you, Wallace notes.

    • 5

      Update the family photo albums. Many parents are diligent about putting pictures of their first children into a family album, but the busyness that comes with a second and then third child can interfere with time to put pictures of the middle child and baby into the book. Let your middle child help you go through photos and choose which ones to include in the photo book. He'll feel special as you reminisce about his babyhood, but he'll also realize how much he's loved even if it doesn't always feel that way.

    • 6

      Refrain from making comparisons between your children. Most middle children, or any children for that matter, don't like being compared to a sibling that gets better grades, is better at sports or keeps her bedroom neater and cleaner. Instead, embrace your middle child for who he is and point out what you love about him instead of what you love about your other children. In other words, let your child form her own identity that isn't based on the successes and failures of her siblings, Wallace cautions.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • How to Catch a Child Thief
      When something goes missing, you must decide if you lost it or someone stole it. When you suspect your child, find proof before confronting or accusing him. Before you can deal with problem, you have to catch the child in the act, or with the stolen
    • How to Know If a Baby Has a Yeast Rash
      Babies get yeast diaper rash for several reasons. As with adults, babies who are on antibiotics often turn up with yeast infections in the diaper area. Likewise, breastfed babies whose mothers are on antibiotics are more susceptible to this type of i
    • Fun Activities to Teach Social Skills to Children
      Social skills mean following social guidelines when interacting with others, but this doesnt mean such skills are innate. Numerous factors can affect a childs social skill development, including shyness, conditions like autism or Aspergers syndrome o