How to Teach Siblings to Get Along
You want your children to love each other and develop deep, lasting relationships. They seem to be more concerned about arguing over whose turn it is to pick the movie or who's the smartest. Although their fights might make you want to tear your hair out now, teaching them to get along with each other and overcome disagreements will help them have a strong relationship with each other. It will also help them form friendships with people outside of the family.
Instructions
Treat your children as individuals and don't draw comparisons between them. Comparing your first son to your second son or your daughter to your son will make the siblings jealous of each other or make one feel inadequate. Give your children praise for their accomplishments, based on their accomplishments alone. For example, don't say, "You did better than your brother on your math test." Instead, say, "Great job on your math test!" Set firm rules and clear consequences if the kids break the rules. Make sure the siblings know from the start that any violence, such as kicking, hitting or spitting on each other, isn't tolerated. If one sibling hits or kicks another, tell him firmly that the behavior isn't accepted and ask him to apologize to his sibling. Give your children room to play and learn to recognize the difference between playing and fighting. If your children are very active, sometimes what's just playing can sound like fighting. Don't automatically intervene or blame the older child if you hear yelling or if the kids are wrestling. Encourage activities that let your children play together instead of compete against each other. Choose team-building board games or video games, for example, instead of games in which there's a clear winner or loser. If you decide to make a game out of chores or homework, choose a neutral third party for your kids to compete against, not each other. Instead of having your kids see who can finish clearing the table first, set a timer for 10 minutes and see if they can work together to get the job done before the buzzer. Recognize the siblings when they are being nice to each other. For example, if you see your two sons playing peacefully together, tell them that you like to see that. Let each child have his say when concerns arise or if there is a fight. Listen to each side of the story and don't automatically blame one or the other. Work as a team to come up with a solution to the argument.