How to Advise a Mother Who Has Unruly Children

We all know children don̵7;t come with rule books, and most parents are doing their very best to raise good, kind children. So when a mother you know is having a difficult time with her unruly child, it might be tempting to walk away or dismiss the problem as a personal matter. But you can make a difference for both the mother and her child by offering positive, helpful advice in a friendly and compassionate manner.

Instructions

    • 1

      Talk to your friend to gauge her areas of frustration; then use this as your guide for steering your conversation in the right direction. It̵7;s important to not speak in a condescending or accusing tone, but instead to let her know you understand her disappointment in her child̵7;s behavior and have learned some helpful tips for dealing with your own child̵7;s difficult behaviors that may be useful for her as well.

    • 2

      Explain that modeling self-control, even in upsetting situations, is an important first step. Yelling at her child will not teach him to remain calm when he is upset. Instead, she should try to firmly and calmly explain the desired behavior. She may need to repeat her request. If her child is still not responding, she should have a consequence in mind. For instance, if he is fighting over a toy and does not stop after one warning, he might sit in a brief timeout or lose privileges with the toy for a day. Let her know also that with consistent consequences, her son̵7;s behavior will improve over time.

    • 3

      Help your friend create ground rules for her child so her son will know ahead of time what is expected of him. Possible rules might include "No Yelling Inside" or "No Snacks After 4 p.m." Rules can be updated as her child grows and encounters new situations.

    • 4

      Suggest other possible reasons to your friend for her son̵7;s tantrums. Many children -- and adults too -- have trouble with emotions when they are hungry, overly tired, or haven̵7;t had enough exercise or fresh air. Working on meeting these basic needs will go a long way toward preventing meltdowns.

    • 5

      Offer alternatives your friend can suggest to her son for releasing anger and frustration. He could walk to another room or outside to calm down, or draw a picture about what is upsetting him. Then to get back to a good mood, he could ride his bike, play a game or listen to favorite music.

    • 6

      Explain to your friend that sometimes a child continues to act unruly, despite all efforts, due to an undiagnosed medical condition. If she has consistently tried consequences, house rules and alternatives and her son is still having trouble behaving, she may want to talk to her son̵7;s pediatrician for advice or evaluation.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • How to Give Creative Consequences
      Disciplining children involves teaching them to accept limits and guiding them to make responsible choices. Consequences show your kids the results of mistakes and unwise choices. Giving creative consequences can boost your parenting effectiveness an
    • How to Discipline Without Spanking or Shouting
      Children need discipline to help them grow into responsible adults. It is your duty as a parent to provide consistency and proper discipline at all ages of your childs development. Discipline does not consist of spanking or yelling, however. This onl
    • Team Building Activities for Responsibility
      Teaching responsibility and accountability to teams of people can seem like a challenging task. By engaging the team in social activities, you can facilitate team bonding and enforce principles of responsibility. Team building activities can be valua