How to Put Kids in Time-Out
A time-out period removes kids from stressful situations where behavior becomes uncontrolled and unacceptable to others. Dr. Glenn Latham -- education professor, behavioral researcher and author of "The Power of Positive Parenting" -- reminds parents that the time-out period isn't a punishment. When used constructively, the time allows your child to think about the behavior and make constructive changes. Used inappropriately, time-out resembles going to sit in the corner -- minus the dunce hat. The goal is that time-out allows your child to calm down and cool off.
Instructions
Set household rules for behavior and ask family members and caregivers to enforce the rules with consistency. Children learn to quickly assess family members with loose behavior standards and exploit the situation. Parents must use time-out behavior modification as part of a consistent behavior program to have the best chance of successfully changing inappropriate actions. Select a chair or spot in the child's room as the official time-out area. Choose a place where you can observe your child but he can't easily see you. This allows you to monitor the situation without the need to provide any feedback. Your child should focus on his thoughts during the time-out period and not discuss the situation with you or any other family members. Explain the official house rules and model appropriate behavior for your child so he clearly understands what is expected of him. Focus on only a few important rules for young children ages 2 to 8 years. Select dangerous or destructive actions, rather than small annoyances. Too many rules are difficult for little ones to remember. Review the time-out procedure and how it works. Give your child an overall preview by explaining, "The time-out period is to give you quiet time to change your behavior." Explain, "Sometimes we lose our temper, and this quiet place gives you somewhere to be quiet and think about the house rules." Alert your child when you see inappropriate behavior, and tell him he is violating the household rules. If the behavior happens again, calmly ask him to repeat the rule, guide him to the time-out station and tell him, "You know the rules and that your behavior is inappropriate. I need you to sit in time-out and think about what you need to do." This method uses the time-out period as instructional, rather than a punitive period. Encourage your child to use the time-out method to control behavior by volunteering to review his own behavior when he becomes anxious or tense about a situation. Ask him, "Do you need a time-out?" when his behavior becomes tense and before he has a tantrum. This signals that you're concerned with his behavior, and the period also allows a calming time when he really does need quiet time away from a stressful or confusing situation. The preemptive period ideally avoids a behavior meltdown. Time your child in the time-out area. Dr. Latham recommends assigning your child only two or three minutes of reflective time. The period should begin, however, after he calms down so that his thinking is clear and not filled with emotions. The calming period could take a while, and parents need to be patient for the method to be effective.
