How to Talk to Your Tween Daughter About Boys

Young girls start to date before age 13 on average, according to HealthyChildren.org, and that fact places importance on opening the topics of dating and boys up for family discussions before that birthday milestone -- sometime between the ages of 10 and 12 years old. Casual conversations allow your daughter to explore relationship topics as she ages, offering her reliable information and answers to important questions about the opposite sex.

Things You'll Need

  • Books about healthy and abusive relationships
  • Films about abusive and healthy male/female relationships
  • Blank writing journal

Instructions

    • 1

      Read books about dating and sexual feelings and discuss these topics with your daughter. Tween-appropriate nonfiction books offer a way to introduce sensitive social subjects to your daughter. Fiction novels sometimes present an overly romantic or dramatic view of boys to young females or handle relationship topics in a way more appropriate to older teens. Select books by prereading to make sure the author's approach to the subject of boys and relationships matches with the message you want to send to your daughter and in a way that's appropriate for her age.

    • 2

      Watch films that portray tween female relationships with the opposite sex and discuss the concepts presented in the movies. Films offer a variety of topics related to tween dating, sexual relations and preteen friendships. Preview the films to make sure they portray ideas in the way that demonstrates your feelings about constructive male-female relationships. Allow your daughter to give her feelings about the information presented in the film without jumping in immediately to critique her ideas. Listen to your daughter, even when you disagree with what she's saying, advises the American Psychological Association. Guide the conversations to explore her ideas and gradually steer the conversation to focus on exploring the topics you find most important.

    • 3

      Ask your tween daughter to make a list of questions she has about boys, or have her create a journal both of you can share. Journal writing offers a chance for shy tweens not yet able to talk to mom or dad directly about boys to start the conversation. Once you hear or read the questions, sit down with your daughter to discuss the topic or write your answers in the shared journal. Linda Nielsen, professor of education at Wake Forest University, notes that young girls, compared to boys, have a greater comfort level in talking about relationships with other females, but that doesn't mean to leave dad out of the conversations once the tween girl feels comfortable taking about the general subject.

    • 4

      Encourage your tween daughter to join you in talking with other female family members about dating and male relationships, both healthy and abusive. Extended members of the family, including grandmothers, aunts and cousins, can offer a variety of experiences to help your daughter explore her ideas about the opposite sex. Hearing similar experiences from family members also helps your tween discover she shares some common feelings with the family on the topic of boys. Explore the difference between a healthy relationship with boys and one that is abusive so your daughter learns the difference.

    2. Previous:No

    Next:

    • Pre-Teen Halloween Costume Ideas
      Pre-teen children can dress up for Halloween in more mature costumes, but they can still have fun and be kids. Finding appropriate costumes for pre-teens is usually easy because pre-teens often have no problem expressing exactly what they want. Ask y
    • How to Teach Your Child to Develop Good Study Skills
      As your child advances through school and assignments become more complex, effective study skills become central to academic success. By reviewing the concepts he’s learned in class, studying can help your child improve his grades and be more p
    • How to Make the Holidays More Fun for an Only Child
      Having an only child does not necessarily sentence him to a life of perpetual loneliness or whining to get everything he wants. While a parent can worry that Christmas morning is not as special without siblings to share it, an only child can contente