How to Deal with Adult Children Living at Home

With the economy and the trend in divorces, more adult children are moving back in with Mom and Dad. Some adult children never moved out in the first place. This return to the nest can be beneficial if the child can help out with the bills or assist you around the house. Both sides have to agree on some rules if the arrangement is going to work.

Instructions

    • 1

      Agree on what the adult child's responsibilities are. The child is over 21, and should be expected to pay his share of the rent, utilities and food. If there are any chores around the house the child can do, this should also be discussed in the agreement. Some people may want to put this down in writing. Christina Newberry, who runs a website on this subject, is a strong proponent of the written contract.

    • 2

      Agree on how long the child over age 21 will stay. If there are no personality conflicts or problems, you can also extend the agreement to extra months.

    • 3

      Go easy on enforcing rules you may have enforced when the child was underage. If the child has been on her own for a while, she will not likely enjoy having to account for all of her activities again. Decide which rules are most important to you and enforce those alone. If you don't want the child to bring over guests at any hour, you must work out a schedule when the child "can" have guests.

    • 4

      Avoid doing the old routines you did for the child when he was a child. As an adult, this person does not need to be reminded to take care of personal hygiene. You should not feel compelled to do the child's laundry or even fix meals for him unless that's something that makes you happy. You should not expect full reports on where the child spends his time when he's not at home. However, if you're the time to worry, work out an arrangement with the child to call or leave messages if he knows he won't be home for some time.

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