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How to Prepare Your Anxious Child for the Last Day of School

Anxiety in kids

How to Prepare Your Anxious Child for the Last Day of School

Childhood anxiety has become more pronounced and prevalent in our children. In fact, according to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, one in eight children has an anxiety disorder. A certain amount of anxiety is healthy; however, anxiety is identified as a disorder when the indicators are excessive and controls a child's overall functioning.

Here are 5 Positive Phrases to Say to Your Anxious Child About School.

With anxiety disorders, the intensity, duration, or frequency of the anxiety and worry is far out of proportion to the actual likelihood or impact of the feared event, and exceeds the normal level for the child's stage of development. One of the greatest contributing factors to childhood anxiety is when there is an anticipated change or interruption in a child's routine. All children react to change and unconsciously crave structure and consistency; however, children who struggle with anxiety have greater difficulties coping and recovering from these life events. One such major event for a child is the end of the school year.

Why is My Child Anxious?
Why would a child be anxious about the last day of school? Don't kids usually want school to end? For most children, this is not always true. Children develop new and lasting friendships at school, with both peers and teachers. They engage in activities that foster these connections while learning about themselves. When school ends, a natural distance appears between these connections. There is also a higher degree of unpredictably throughout the day and less consistency with a routine.

As parents, we naturally become anxious as the last day approaches as well. Similar to our children, we rely on our routine and autonomy. For parents with anxious children, the last day of school may elicit some similar reactions. We think, "What are my childcare arrangements going to be? How can I afford summer camp? Do we have time and money for a vacation?"

What does anxiety look like?As the end of the school year approaches, many anxious children may begin to exhibit nervousness, worry, high levels of motor tension (such as restlessness, shakiness, muscle tension), hypertension, irritability, and autonomic hyperactivity (such as shortness of breath, dizziness, rapid heart beat, dry mouth, nausea, and diarrhea). They may present over-reactive to situations and have difficulty concentrating in school ("My mind is going blank!"). It is also quite common for them to experience somatic complaints (such as stomach pains and headaches).

At home, your child may experience difficulty falling and/or staying asleep. If your child's anxiety is severe, he may experience symptoms of panic attacks as a result of fear.

If any of the above symptoms are occurring with your child and are significantly affecting his or her overall functioning, please consult with your child's pediatrician.

How Can I Help Relieve My Child's Anxiety?
Take a deep breath, and be proactive in these essential steps before the end of the school year:

• 3-4 months before the last day: Determine your budget and what summer camps, programs, or activities you can afford. Start the discussion with your child on what interests her. Get her involved and excited about the summer, regardless of your budget. Some of the best activities are those you can create in your own back yard (like making smores by a camp fire).
• 1 month before the last day: Finalize a childcare plan and have an idea of what a typical summer day might look like. This does not mean that you have to plan an activity for every minute of the day. It is healthy for your child to have a scheduled time for "self-play." This fosters creativity and imagination. However, a typical day should have somewhat of a routine, so the child has an idea of what to expect. If a special activity (such as a trip to a fun park or vacation) is coming up, prepare your child ahead of time by visually showing the date on a calendar. (You will know how much advance time your child needs depending on her anxiety).
• 2 weeks before the last day: Have a discussion with your child on what he is feeling. Help him to identify accurate emotions so he can begin to increase awareness and recognition of his triggers. Talk with him about what is means to "say goodbye." Some children are afraid they will never see their friends or teachers ever again. Help to separate the real from the imagined. End the discussion with a positive "goodbye activity." Have your child make a card or gift for his friends or teacher and reflect on past experiences while encouraging him to seek out new experiences.
• On the last day: Help your child pack or bring in gifts/cards to school. Empower your anxious child by reflecting on her feelings instead of denying them: "I know you may be feeling nervous (or whichever feeling word she used) about today, but I'm so proud of you. Your feeling nervous shows that you care a lot about others and that makes me very happy. I care about you and I'm looking forward to our plans for the summer!" When your child comes home from school, listen (without interrupting) and validate what she is feeling.