Strategies for Kids Coping With Bad Sportsmanship

Model Appropriate Sportsmanship

• Kids learn from coaches, parents and spectators -- they have a responsibility to teach each child competing good sportsmanship. While kids may not learn it overnight, gradually they will learn perseverance and behaving with dignity whether they win or lose, according to the website KidsHealth. Shaking hands before and after a game, accepting losses and bad calls gracefully and acknowledging the opponent's good plays are all positive examples of being a good sport. Resist arguing with an umpire or losing your temper with your child or others on the team. This puts the emphasis on the game's outcome rather than learning to play with skill, fairness and enjoyment. Spectators and families should be mindful of their reactions during the game and keep their postgame conversations positive.

Teamwork

• Learning to be a part of a team is a valuable life skill and one that a kid who has developed bad sportsmanship needs to learn. Teaching a child who is struggling with sportsmanship to set goals to make himself a better player and assist his team will encourage him to take pride in his accomplishments, according to KidsHealth. As kids develop higher self-esteem about the way they play through small successes that build over time, positive praise and overall respect for the game, good sportsmanship will ensue.

Managing Feelings

• A big part of showing bad sportsmanship is related to the intense feelings that may be behind winning or losing. Kids may have difficulty restraining themselves from stating the coach isn't fair, accusing the other team of cheating or jumping across the field screaming at the top of their lungs "we won, you lost" while pointing to the other team. While it's important to have an outlet for these emotions, kids with bad sportsmanship need to control their feelings and behavior before, during and after the game. Correct your child if he's putting other players down, explain the reasons why he had to sit out, encourage him to cheer his team on and allow him to vent to you when needed. Avoid ruminating, as this can lead to feeling down and out. Instead, offer to assist your child in a skill that he needs to improve upon, according to the KidsHealth article, "Sportsmanship."

Confronting Bad Sportsmanship

• Conversing with your child about bad sportsmanship requires a calm exterior and the ability to validate his feelings, while also letting him know you do not condone the behavior, according to the article, "When Good Kids Are Bad Sports," on the website Family Education. For example, your son has been called out of the baseball game for throwing the bat. He was warned previously. You watch him stomp and kick dirt into the dugout where he throws his helmet down in a fit of anger. When you arrive home and you are both calm, ask him what was going on. He may express his anger at being called out. Validate his frustration and anger while brainstorming positive ways to cope, such as practicing batting with a focus on not throwing the bat as well as deep breathing and positive self-talk to keep his anger in check.