How to Teach Your Kids Self-Control
Teaching young children self-control is key to their reaching kindergarten ready to learn. A child without impulse control is unable to listen or concentrate or exhibit behavior that is age appropriate. This simple how-to guide will list some simple ideas to practice with your child on a daily basis to help them learn self-control. When I mention self-control, I do not mean to suggest that you are raising a child that doesn't question or is inactive. The goal is teaching a child how to have impulse control so they are able to listen and learn. A child without the ability to sit still and listen is a child that will soon be running your household. Don't let this happen. Both you and your child deserve more. Remember, you are the parent. Do not feel guilty for hurt feelings when teaching a valuable life-long lesson.
Things You'll Need
- The will to succeed
- Trust in yourself
- Love of your child
- Vision
Instructions
Explain to your child what the consequence will be if they fail to control their temper-tantrum, their poor attitude, or whatever bad behavior you wish to correct. Be clear and concise in your instruction. Break it down into a simple, easy to follow plan of action. Once the plan of action is in place and is understood by both you and your child, be ready to reward good behavior. Why take the approach of only punishing your child? You will feel so much better when you think about what you want the child to do and say, and reward with praise along the way. Do not buy or give the child any material possession for doing what is expected. Simply saying, "way to go" goes miles in the path towards raising a child with self-control. When the child slips up, and they will slip up, get down on their level and review the expectations set in step 1. Explain in a clear and calm voice that they must go into a time out in your chosen time out place. I like the stairs. This way if the time out goes south and the kid just isn't able to get it together you can send them to their room. If you are sending to their room it is critical that they don't have electronic devises in there or other distractions. The length of time for the time out should be equal to their age. Do not permit the child to come out of the time-out until they are able to control their emotions. After the time-out it is time to recap what went wrong. Do not judge or react to harshly. It is important not to dwell on the minor issue that led to the time-out. It is crucial for developing self-control in your child to ask them to explain what went wrong and what they could do differently. Use simple clear terms and get down on their level. You do not want to appear threatening to the child you want a clear open line of communication. Keep calm, balanced, and to the point. Do not react to your child's ebb and flow as they try to work through this. The above steps need to be repeated day in and day out. If you use praise to reward the behaviors you want and a consistent feedback loop of the behaviors you don't you will soon find that your child is able to keep themselves calm on their own. This will enable them to be happy successful students when their time comes.
