Disciplining Children at Home for Getting in Trouble at School

Researchers at the University of Illinois Extension, a continuing education initiative, state that discipline is a way to teach a child appropriate behaviors, as opposed to punishment, which is targeted toward the child instead of the behavior. When disciplining your child for an infraction that occurred at school, it's helpful to use techniques that will teach him why his behavior was unsatisfactory. Experts at the American Humane Association state that positive discipline should be done with love, and ask parents to be fair and realistic in their expectations of their children.

  1. Letter of Apology

    • It's important to teach your child that everyone makes mistakes in life, and that it's best to apologize for these mistakes, and try not to repeat them. When your child misbehaves in school, teach him the value of admitting a wrong and apologizing for the behavior by encouraging him to write an apology letter. Dr. Denise Cummins, Ph.D., with Psychology Today, states that apologies help others feel better about a person's misconduct -- this will teach your child to empathize with others and understand how his actions impact others. Encourage your child to hand-write his apology letter and personally deliver it to his teacher, or whoever was affected by his behavior.

    Essay Writing and Illustration

    • Have your child write down or illustrate his ideas about appropriate classroom conduct. Writing and illustration teach self-expression, help children engage in independent thinking and enable them to articulate thoughts and feelings, says Pamela Zinkosky, a writer with EduGuide, a nonprofit organization that advocates for improved youth education, and editor Rachel Tannenbaum, with Anne Arundel Community college. In the essay or illustration, instruct your child to identify the reasons he believes he was reprimanded by school officials, and what he thinks appropriate classroom behavior looks like. Giving your child a hands-on essay or illustrative assignment allows him to better understand his behavior, which can help him think of ways to improve his behavior to fit within the acceptable boundaries.

    Skill-Building Interventions

    • Even if your child is aware of appropriate classroom conduct, he may not understand how to demonstrate this conduct, particularly if he's angry or dealing with other emotional stressors. Researchers with the U.S. Department of Education suggest that teachers -- including parents as a child's first teachers -- teach children appropriate skills so that they are clear on how to display desired classroom behaviors. For example, you might explain to your child that sharing and cooperation are expected in the classroom, and use role play scenarios to teach him to take turns doing various activities, say U.S. Department of Education experts.

    Removal of Privileges

    • Temporarily removing privileges from your child, such as games, TV-watching and electronic devices, reminds your child that privileges are earned and can be revoked whenever your child misbehaves, even if it is in school. Medical writer Krisha McCoy, M.S., with Michigan's Mercy Hospital Grayling, notes that removing privileges is most effective with older, school-aged children and adolescents, and that it teaches them that there are consequences for inappropriate behavior. McCoy also notes that younger children are more responsive to time-outs. When your child's teacher reports that he's been disruptive during class, remove a privilege that you know he most enjoys at home, and tell him that it will be returned once he earns it through appropriate classroom conduct.

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