Strategies for Redirecting Child Behavior

A child's bad behavior can be overwhelming for a parent or guardian, but must not be allowed to dominate their relationship. A caretaker can deal with common behavior problems such as aggression, oppositional behavior and whining in specific ways. Consistency is the key to redirecting the child's behavior. The caretaker should not take a child's good behavior for granted, but should give positive reinforcement to good behavior in the same degree she gives negative reinforcement to bad behavior.

  1. Aggression

    • Safety comes first. Contain the aggression, get him to move where he can still be angry but not hurt himself or others.

      Stay calm, and never respond with verbal or physical aggression. That simply reinforces the child's bad behavior, which is aimed at getting the parent or guardian to react.

      Figure out the root cause of the aggression. Often it is fear of a physical or emotional threat. Another cause is low self-esteem--"misery loves company." Or the child may desire attention.

      Meet that need in a safer way. Find out who or what she is afraid of and advocate for her, such as by reporting a school bully. To treat low self-esteem, find ways to praise positive behavior as frequently as possible. For attention, find time each day for parents, guardians or siblings to talk with the child, or participate in positive activities.

    Oppositional behavior

    • If a child repeatedly refuses to do as she is told, find things that motivate her: money, free time, TV programs or video games, for instance. For smaller children winning stickers on a chart may work.

      Set up a plan for the child to earn those privileges--something concrete and simple. Target no more than three things at a time--cleaning up his room, finishing homework, doing a chore, for example.

      Follow through by being consistent. If the child experiences success, her behavior will change.

    Whining

    • Whining must never accomplish its goal. Refuse to give in, and say it clearly to the child. Tell him, "Whining never works. Does that ever get you what you want?"

      When the whining totally stops, and the child asks for something reasonable in an acceptable fashion, be quick to honor the request. Be hyper positive about congratulating her on the good behavior and successful request. The degree of positive reinforcement should be no less than the degree of negative reaction to the whining.

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