How Long Should a Timeout Be?

When to Use Timeout

• Your child has broken a favorite lamp when jumping excitedly on the couch, and now you're wondering whether this offense warrants a timeout. The answer depends on your house rules. Timeouts should be given for actions that your child knows are not allowed, says HealthyChildren. So if you've warned a child that jumping on the furniture is off-limits and he does it anyway, a timeout might be appropriate; if you're dealing with a toddler who's still grasping right and wrong, save timeout for things he understands are off-limits, like hitting. A timeout can also be useful when a child is so agitated that he's endangering himself or others. If he's flailing, kicking and screaming because he didn't get his way, use a timeout to help him regain control of his body.

Timing

• Here's the general rule of thumb for timing a timeout: a young child should sit for about one minute per year of his age. Timeouts should be short for young toddlers. According to KidsHealth, any break longer than one or two minutes isn't effective for very young kids. Keep in mind that timeouts can be effective for older children and even teens, but a 10- or 15-minute timeout may be excessive for some minor offenses. Consider establishing a maximum sentence of five or six minutes for a school-age kid. Trust your teen to take the time he needs to cool off or reflect on a negative behavior, suggests HealthyChildren. Ask him to take a walk or sit in his room until he's ready to talk about what happened.

Giving a Timeout

• When a child commits a timeout-worthy offense -- like pushing, using inappropriate language or willfully ignoring an instruction -- enforce the consequence immediately. For a toddler who's just learning about timeout, be present throughout the process. Lead him to a quiet room or sit him on a designated stool and explain, "You broke an important rule, and now you must sit for two minutes as a consequence." Sit with him, unless you're so angry you need to cool off. For a child of any age, use a visible timer to measure the time. Tell him how long he'll sit, and explain that you'll add time if he's noisy or disruptive during timeout. When the timer sounds, go back to talk about what he did wrong and what to do differently next time.

Troubleshooting

• Expect your child to test your timeout patience at times and try to leave his spot. In these instances, advises AskDrSears.com, sit with him and physically return him to his spot each time he bolts. You may keep starting the timer over every time he returns to his spot, to show that disobeying only adds to his time. Once you've learned how your child reacts to this type of discipline, you might adjust the time up or down. A 6-year-old who instantly calms down and reflects in timeout might only need to sit for four minutes, while a 3-year-old might need four or five minutes just to stop kicking and sit quietly. If your child has special needs, talk to your pediatrician about discipline that will work for him. Giving a timeout in response to behaviors caused by a condition beyond his control is inappropriate.