The Effects of Silent Treatment on a Child

The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is when someone shuts out another person for something that they did wrong, without telling them why. It's commonly used by parents as a form of punishment toward children. However, rather than teach children a lesson, the silent treatment can often lead to more harm than good.

  1. Emotional Effects

    • The silent treatment makes the victim feel shut-out, or rejected, by a person whom they love. According to Anger Management Resource, using this treatment toward children can be a destructive form of punishment. If it happens for long times on a continual basis, it can leave a lasting impact. Children can suffer from depression, anxiety or low self esteem, especially if they are unaware of what they did wrong and why someone is ostracizing them in the first place.

    Behavorial Issues

    • If the silent treatment is used as a way to punish a child, children are often left with the assumption that it's a proper way to punish others. For instance, if children aren't getting their way, they could use this treatment back on their parents until they get what they want. The silent treatment can also provoke anger in children, as they are unaware and frustrated as to why someone is shutting them out. This can lead to anger and violence issues through their development.

    Hurt Feelings

    • The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive way to provoke feelings of guilt. And while the person giving the silent treatment may feel hurt, it is intended to hurt the feelings of the wrongdoer in the situation as well. This treatment can lead to hurt feelings and unhappiness, not only because children know that they have hurt someone they care about, but because their attempts to talk about it and apologize fall on deaf ears.

    Anger

    • Parents often use the silent treatment as a way to bottle their anger toward a child for a wrongdoing they have done, except instead of expressing the anger directly toward the child and talking about it, it's expressed in a passive-aggressive way. It's natural for parents to periodically be angry with their children over something, but using the silent treatment typically leads to even more intense arguments once lifted, especially if the child is unaware of exactly what he or she did to deserve it.

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