How to Deal with a Child Who Won't Keep His Hands to Himself
Any parent who witnesses her child grab food off another's plate, touch people without asking, or even hit another child or adult knows how embarrassing and concerning these behaviors can be. Although most children begin to learn impulse control as preschoolers, some continue to struggle between the ages of 5 and 11 to keep their hands to themselves, especially if grabbing or touching others gets them what they want. If your child falls into this category, teaching him to keep his hands to himself becomes a top priority.
Instructions
Manage Yourself First
Calm yourself down by taking deep breaths and thinking before you react. Even though your child's behavior may be so upsetting it pushes you to your limit as a parent, KidsHealth reminds parents that a thoughtful, consistent response is their best option. Raising your voice will only escalate an already-volatile situation. Demonstrate appropriate manners for your child. Ask before you touch someone, await your turn and refrain from using corporal punishment to teach your child how to solve her problems without violating another's physical boundaries. Get help if you are overwhelmed. Seek guidance from a mental-health professional if your child's problems are persistent, dangerous or you feel that your response has been ineffective. Investigate the Cause
Watch how your child interacts with others. Note his personal strengths, triggers and areas in which he's most likely to struggle to keep his hands to himself. Identify where he's learning that these behaviors are acceptable. Scholastic notes that exposure to violent television and aggressive role models can increase a child's hitting behaviors. Note any weak links, such as adults who let your child get away with impulsive behaviors or peers who allow themselves to be bullied. Hands to Yourself!
Set a rule that's clear, and check that your child is understanding the limits and boundaries. Scholastic suggests that children who brazenly violate boundaries after limits are set and enforced may not fully understand the rule or boundary. Outline clear consequences for breaking the no-touching rule, and enforce these consistently. Use strategies such as timeout for younger children and losing privileges for older children. Teach your children about personal space by explaining that there is an imaginary bubble around each person that others cannot enter without permission, suggest child development experts Carla Poole and Susan A. Miller, writing for Scholastic. Limit exposure to situations that trigger your child while he's learning to master his impulses. If he consistently grabs a particular food off others' plates, for example, limit his exposure to this food until he can control himself more consistently. Praise your child whenever he's demonstrating good manners and respect for others. Children soak up praise and will remember your kind words the next time they are tempted to touch something that doesn't belong to them.
