How to Correct Toddler and Child Behavior Problems
When it comes to dealing with toddler and child behavior problems, maybe you've tried encouraging good behavior with rewards, only to find the child loses interest in the rewards after awhile. Maybe you've tried punishing bad behavior with time outs, but your child doesn't seem phased by your attempts to direct them away from the bad behavior and to follow the good behavior.
The trick is to figure out why the behavior problems are occurring in your toddler or child in the first place. Children typically resort to problem behaviors for four general reasons, which are discussed below.
Instructions
IDENTIFY A CHILD WHO SEEKS POWER You can help your child with the power behavior by making them a part of the family routines, by providing them with opportunities to help make simple daily family decisions, such as what to eat for dinner or what activities to participate in for the day. However, always remember that when it comes to larger, life altering decisions, you do have the right to over power their choice and redirect them to better alternatives. RECOGNIZE A CHILD SEEKING ATTENTION Children absolutely crave attention and they may need more attention some days than other days. As parents, it is our obligation to provide the quantity as well as the quality of the attention our child requires from us. Talk to your older children about their day, their friends, their interests, and difficulties. Spend time doing activities with the younger children. Each child, no matter what age requires and desires one on one time with their parents. UNDERSTAND BEHAVIORS OF A CHILD SEEKING CONTROL A child who craves control may feel as if he doesn't have enough say in his own activities in his days and needs to be offered choices in a situation, and made to understand the advantages and disadvantages of each of the available options. From these options, they should be allowed to choose their own solution and to be accountable for the consequences involved with their decision. REALIZE WHEN A CHILD IS ACTING OUT FROM UNMET NEEDS Even adults tend to get cranky when they are hungry, bored or tired and children find security in having these basic needs met on a routine basis. It is important to immediately meet the physiological needs of your child, whether younger or older in order to bring the behavior that is connected to these unmet needs under control. A FINAL NOTE Also be sure that the child behavior problems are not linked to other conditions, such as ADHD, Autism or Aspergers that may require more help.
If the child behavior shows defiant responses to your requests with a strong "No," or "You can't make me" type reactions, then your child may be seeking some power within the family structure. As babies, they had all the power; they ate, slept and went potty whenever they needed to, and everyone worked around their schedule. As routines and schedules are made for them, they feel as if they have no power in their lives and have to fit to the rules made outside of them.
If they child behavior is them always seeking the parent's attention by asking you to look at what they are doing, or to do something with them, or just because they have something to say, they may just need to spend more one on one quality time with you.
A child who demands getting something right at that moment or who does not desire to stop what they are doing at that moment is seeking more control in their own life and would benefit from being allowed to make more decisions for themselves and to be in charge of certain aspects in their life.
A child who is being cranky or difficult because they are hungry, thirsty, tired or uncomfortable/ bored needs to have these needs met by providing them with routinely scheduled and proper nutrition, ample exercise and stimulating activities, and plenty of regularly scheduled sleep.
It is important to pay attention to how you deal with situations in your own life and how you respond to your child and their behavior. How your child sees you respond to situations is how they will learn to respond to situations in their own lives. Essentially, you may be training your child's behavior without realizing it. Do they respond in ways that are similar to the way that you respond? Or have they learned that certain behaviors get them the results they want? Maybe they tantrum because they know it will make you cave in to something they want. Become aware of how you respond and interact, it could be a key to the child's behavioral habits.
