Parenting: Behavior Modification for a 5 Year Old

When dealing with young children, it is imperative to be consistent. It is also imperative that you, as the parent, remain in control at all times. With a strong-willed child, this can be difficult. If you cannot control the child, you must control the situation. This can be done in a number of ways.

  1. Bad Behavior / Good Behavior

    • You will shape your child's behavior by modeling the behavior you want from him. If you want the child to stop yelling, then you cannot yell. If you don't want the child to slam doors, then you must calmly close the doors. Just as critical as modeling the behavior you want to see is ignoring the behavior you don't want to see. If the child is doing something you don't like or want them to stop, ignore him. Unless it is dangerous or destructive, ignore it. Continue to ignore the bad behavior until it stops or until the child does something you can give him positive feedback for. Children want and need your attention; show him what type of behavior will get the attention he craves.

    Discipline

    • When discipline is required, you must continue to control the situation as well as model the behavior you want to see from your child. Few of us want our child to hit, so avoid physical punishment such as spanking. Time out is a much better remedy and can achieve the desired results. You can place a child in time out in a room, on the couch or in a specific spot. It should not be a corner, closet or small bathroom. Keep her where you can monitor her, but do not give her attention. As a general rule of thumb, put the child into time out 1 minute for each year of age. A 5 year old should go into time out for 5 minutes.

    Rewards

    • Parents want to reward children for doing well. This is fine, but be careful that the reward does not turn into a bribe. If you allow yourself to get into the habit of offering your child a reward for being good, he will come to expect it, and if it is not received, his behavior may reflect his displeasure. When giving rewards, always attempt to give rewards of your time. Read with the child, play a game, watch a movie with him. Children crave attention, so give it to them as a reward for good behavior. Limit the amount of physical rewards such as new toys or money as much as possible.

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