What to Do When Your Young Child Is Giving You the Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is a young child's way of showing his anger and attempting to get what he wants at the same time. It can give him a sense of power and control. However, it's important to show your child -- in a way that avoids a power struggle or argument -- that giving you the silent treatment is ineffective. How you choose to deal with your fuming, yet temporarily wordless, youngster depends on the personality of your child. You have options for peacefully combating this behavior.

  1. Don't Take it Personally

    • The silent treatment can make you feel powerless. However, don̵7;t let the silent treatment affect you or make you give in to your youngster̵7;s demands. Remember that this is simply your child̵7;s way of expressing his frustration or annoyance at the world. Giving in to your child to restore communication sends him a message that it's OK to use the silent treatment to deal with problems, according to an article on the Empowering Parents website.

    Keep a Clear Head

    • When dealing with the silent treatment, don't give your child the silent treatment back. Stooping to your child̵7;s level could provoke an argument, advises behavioral therapist James W. Lehman in his article, "Does Your Child Give You the Silent Treatment? 6 Rules for Getting Kids to Talk." Instead, show your child that freezing you out is not the right method to use to deal with problems. Redirect his misguided efforts. For a child up to 5 years old, who is using the silent treatment, allow her a few minutes of silence and then approach her. Ask, "Are you mad?" to find out what's going on. For a child ages 6 to 9, wait longer -- 20 to 30 minutes -- and then ask if something's wrong.

    Give Your Child Space

    • Avoid trying to engage your child in a conversation he doesn't want to have. Once you reach out to him, and he refuses, step back. Forcing him into a conversation will only aggravate him further. Instead, let him know you are willing to talk when he is ready. After you have made your intentions clear, walk away. Your child will engage with you when he is ready. Sometimes, if you allow your child to have some time away from you -- spend the night with relatives or friends -- it can help him sort out his feelings and adopt a different perspective.

    Be Disciplined

    • One reason most kids resort to the silent treatment is as a means to get what they want. Unfortunately, some parents eventually give in. Some children are incredibly stubborn and hold out to get the results they desire. To avoid succumbing to your child's tactics, send her a clear message that her problems will not be solved by behaving in such a manner. Give her some consequences such as she can't go play with friends or engage in any other fun activities until the problem is resolved. Be calm, but direct with her and leave it at that. Let the silence run its course. After a while, she will realize that the silent treatment is not working, and she will have to speak to you to resolve the problem.

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