How to Get Your Child to Behave in School

Get Your Childs' Side of the Story.

If this is the first time this has happened and your child is normally well-behaved, it is important to get your child's version of the story. Sometimes it is simply a misunderstanding. Once when I was in the 3rd grade, my class was going on a school trip. The class was overexcited and the teacher had a hard time calming everyone down. In frustration she said if she caught anyone saying another word they would not be able to go on the trip. Sure enough my friend picked that moment to say something to me and when I turned to tell her to be quiet, I got caught. I ended up having to sit in another classroom while the rest of the class went on the trip and got a note sent home to my mother for misbehaving when I really hadn't done anything wrong. So mistakes do happen.

Set up a meeting with the teacher, yourself and your child.

If this is an ongoing problem or the offense is considered fairly serious, it is important to include your child in this meeting . While many parents might be tempted to meet with the teacher in private, it is important to let your child know that they are responsible for their own actions. It is also a good way to ensure that there is no miscommunication. The teacher can tell their version of the story, your child can tell their version and future rules can be agreed upon by everyone.

It might also be a good idea to talk to your child before this meeting so they can prepare any questions or comments they might have for the teacher as well.

Set up a daily or weekly reporting schedule with their teacher.

You can have the teacher write comments in the back of their notebooks, or print out your own version of forms that say something like "Jack's behavior in class today was __ acceptable or ___ unacceptable" with room for more comments. It is probably best to do this only on a weekly basis
if your child only acts up occasionally, but if their bad behavior occurs frequently, the teacher might need to do this daily. The teacher should also write down positive comments on the days that you child does behave because sometimes positive reinforcement is all that is needed for a child to want to change their current behavior.

On the days you do receive a bad report, there should be clearly spelled out consequences. For example, no television, video games or going out to play with friends on the days that you get bad reports. Be sure that you follow through on these punishments if you want it to be effective. It may be all the encouragement they need to start behaving if they know that the rest of their day will be ruined when they get home.

You should stop the reports if your child starts behaving again to show them that you are trusting them and have confidence in them. You can always restart the reports if the problem reappears in the future.

Consider their behavior at home.

Are you having the same types of problems disciplining them at home? If so, it might be time to reevaluate your parenting plan. Do they have chores and responsibilities at home? Do you follow through with punishments to show them the consequences of their actions? Do you ensure that they treat you with respect? It might simply be time to change the rules a little.

Find out if there is another problem.

If you discover that none of the above options are working effectively, it might be time to see if there is another problem that might explain your child's behavior. For example, is it possible that the school work is too hard to them and they feel as if they are constantly struggling? Or maybe the opposite is true and the work is too easy and they are simply bored.

Also consider other issues. Are they having a problem with any of their classmates or going through any problems at home such as a divorce? Sometimes acting out is their way of trying to cope with unresolved anger or fear.

Speak with the school guidance counselor, the principal, or a professional counselor.

It might be a good idea to speak with someone who has seen this kind of behavior in other children, because they might have an effective method that will work that you haven't considered on your own. It is also a good idea to have the school guidance counselor and the principal involved so you can all work out a strategy together.