How to Deal With a Jealous Brother

Whenever your family grows, you face new challenges, and with more than one child you will inevitably come across the phenomenon known as sibling rivalry. One child might feel slighted that a new baby is added into the mix because he doesn't understand that his parents have enough love to go around. The attention and time spent with the younger sibling often sparks resentment and jealousy that can last throughout the years. If you are the sibling who faces this jealousy from a resentful brother, you might feel at a loss about how to smooth things over when you did nothing intentionally wrong.

Instructions

    • 1

      Empathize with why your brother is jealous. If you are the younger child, this might have started before you were born, when your parents diverted attention from him to you. Putting yourself in his shoes might give you the compassion needed to strengthen the relationship, rather than dismiss his feelings.

    • 2

      Don't get into competition with your brother. He might weigh everything that you're given, whether emotionally or physically, as a sign that you are luckier or more loved than he is, but you do not have to participate in this destructive pattern.

    • 3

      Break out of any labels that were put on you as children, and don't continue any hurtful nicknames that feed your brother's inferiority to you. These labels only serve to keep everyone in neat little categories that keep the friction going between you.

    • 4

      Point out the things he has been given. Jealousy takes the focus off of what one has and redirects it to what one does not have, which is a recipe for unhappiness. Show him all the things for which he can be grateful, so he can see things in a more positive light. Be the one to highlight his talents and accomplishments if your family tends to focus more on your own.

    • 5

      Don't participate whenever the family wants to take sides with either of you. A jealous person can be unpleasant to hang around, so you might be the more compatible of the two. Do your part to include your brother into events, rather than exclude him.

    • 6

      Let your brother know that you love him, and acknowledge any unfairness that fuels the underlying jealousy or rivalry. If a parent showed favoritism, it might be easier for your brother to direct his anger at you rather than the parent. While you can't change the past, and are not responsible for the mistakes of others, just "hearing" why he is resentful can rebuild the foundation between you.

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