Why Children Cry When Going to Daycare

It's tough to leave your child at daycare when she's upset, but it may help to know that her reaction -- known as separation anxiety -- is a completely normal part of her development. You may notice that your child also cries when you leave her with a babysitter, put her to bed or even leave her alone in a room for a few minutes.

  1. Object Permanence

    • Around the age of 4 to 7 months, infants become aware that people and objects exist even when they cannot be seen. This is known as object permanence, and it is often a trigger for separation anxiety. When a baby cannot see you, he understands that this means you have gone away but cannot yet grasp the concept of time, meaning he doesn't know when -- or even if -- you will be returning. This is why a young child may get upset when his parent leaves him at daycare.

    A New Environment

    • The stresses of being in a new environment, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, may contribute to your child's tears when you leave her at daycare. Some children who have never previously shown signs of separation anxiety can suddenly become agitated, upset and clingy when starting daycare, due to the feelings of anxiety brought on by the change.

    Age

    • According to BabyCenter, the award-winning pregnancy and parenting website, some babies display signs of separation anxiety as young as 6 months, but in most cases it appears between 10 and 18 months. If your child starts at daycare around this age, you may find he cries when you leave him and he takes a while to settle into his new environment. Separation anxiety is normally less of an issue by the time a child is 24 months old, notes BabyCenter. Every child is different, however, and KidsHealth points out that some children go through it later than other, sometimes as late as 2 1/2 years of age.

    How to Handle Separation Anxiety

    • As upsetting as it may be to see your child in tears when you drop her off at daycare, it is important to remember that it is only a phase. She will grow out of it a lot quicker if you resist the temptation to stay with her at daycare or take her back home, as doing so would only give her the message that this behavior will help her avoid separation in the future. BabyCenter suggests adopting a very simple approach: when you drop your child at daycare, always kiss and hug her and tell her where you're going and when you'll be back to collect her. Give her a warm, affectionate goodbye, but don't prolong it or show signs of getting upset yourself. It's not a good idea to try to sneak away without her noticing, as this is likely to make her more emotional. When you have left, don't turn back, no matter how upset your child is. If the daycare center has any concerns about her health or wellbeing, they will contact you.

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