The Influence of Role Models

Positive Influences

• Role models, more often than not, exert a positive influence on kids. A positive role model can inspire your child to pursue a particular career path and to be charitable toward others, or it can give him the courage to resist peer pressure. Positive role models empower a child, and make him believe that he, too, can accomplish great things in life. A role model with a positive influence doesn't have to be a celebrity, athlete or public figure. Teachers, parents and mentors inspire kids every day to choose successful and healthy habits, and to never give up on their dreams. As a parent, it's important to monitor your child's influences to ensure he's modeling appropriate and beneficial behavior.

Negative Influences

• The media often get a bad rap for glorifying personalities who negatively influence the children who look up to them. While it's arguable that media outlets, such as television, radio and cinema, should be more responsible with the images they project to youth, it's ultimately the responsibility of parents -- like you -- to be aware of what their kids are watching. Negative influences can lead your child to believe that harmful behaviors, such as smoking, drinking and doing drugs, are cool. Negative role models may give your child the impression that disrespect for authority will earn him popularity and respect among his peers, even if his actions are likely to result in jail time. Caroline Knorr, the Common Sense Media website parenting editor, suggests that parents discuss with their kids the real-life consequences of negative behaviors displayed by negative role models to ensure they have a realistic understanding of how disruptive behavior can hinder their progress.

Parental Modeling

• As mentioned above, kids look up to their parents and learn the dynamics of appropriate and inappropriate behavior from them. Author and child development instructor Karen Stephens, in an article provided by the Brevard Community College website, says role modeling is an effective parenting tool, and requires parents to exercise discipline and self-control in their behavior. Your child is watching everything you do, and will likely emulate your actions. With this in mind, you want to ensure you're setting forth a positive example for him to follow. This doesn't mean you have to be perfect; it does mean that if you've got problems controlling your anger, are struggling with substance abuse issues or hold an overall negative attitude about life, it would benefit you and your child if your worked on your personal issues. Counseling, personal reflection, journaling and practice can help you become a better role model for your child.

Monitoring Your Child's Influences

• Parents should spend time with their kids and get to know the people who inspire them in life. Whether or not your child names you as a role model is irrelevant; it's important for you to know whom your child looks up to, and to determine whether or not this personality is a positive influence in your child's life. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry recommends that parents talk to their kids about the positive and negative traits that all human beings possess. If you notice your child's role model is displaying behaviors that you don't condone, calmly inform him that everybody makes mistakes, and teach him that he can still admire his role model without emulating his negative behaviors. This approach makes your child less defensive, and shows him that you respect his choices and preferences.