How Old Should Kids Be for a Coed Party?

Developmental Level

• According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, kids don't always develop at the same pace. Although there are major milestones that most children meet within a given time frame, your child may not mature at the exact same rate as his best buds or classmates. That said, choosing the "right" age to allow your child to attend his first coed party may not necessarily take on a standard year-of-age form. For example, your 12 year old may act fairly immature and still think that girls are "icky," while the tween boy who lives next door is already "going steady" with a girl. Before judging your child's readiness to go to a coed party by age solely, take a look at his developmental level and maturity.

Puberty

• It's likely that your child will have little actual interest in attending a boy-girl party before she hits puberty. Puberty is the time period when a child's body begins to change and mature, according to the pros at the KidsHealth website. While there is an age range for the onset of puberty -- girls start between 8 and 13 years old; boys typically begin anywhere from 9 to 15 years old -- the early tween years usually usher in the starting stages of these changes. As your child enters puberty, he will begin to have hormonal changes that may set off an interest in the opposite sex.

Coed Discussions

• Prior to your child's first coed party, it's key that you talk with her about the opposite sex and some of the feelings that she may have. Whether you feel that it's acceptable to allow your preteen to go to a seemingly innocent boy-girl bash at the age of 12 or you want your teen to wait until she is 15 or 16 before attending a coed party, she needs to know the facts about sex, dating and relationships before she gets involved with a possible romantic partner. The American Academy of Pediatrics, on its Healthy Children website, suggests that parents talk to their children early on about sex. This doesn't just mean giving your child the basics. It's also important to include information about emotions and the social points of romantic relationships. If you feel that your child is too young to have the "talk," chances are that she is also too young to attend a coed party.

Ages

• If you're looking for a magic number that makes it acceptable to allow your child to attend a coed party, your search may not come to a definitive end. While it's rarely common for parents to allow young children in the early grade school years to go to boy-girl parties --- other than the completely innocent, friend-type birthday bashes of the preschool years -- the typical age for permitting this activity can range from the late grade school or early middle school time through adolescence. Keep in mind that there are different types of coed parties, each of which may require a different age grade. For example, the AAP notes that some parties may start later at night, be unsupervised and include alcohol. Although it is never permissible for a teen to drink alcohol, this type of party is clearly not a coed event for grade schoolers, tweens or young adolescents. On the other hand, a boy-girl party that is held in a supervised environment -- such as a church youth group center, at school or under a parent's watchful eye -- is acceptable for an older grade schooler or tween.