How to Raise a Child Without a Father
You've probably heard the frightening statistics about the effects of raising children without fathers. Among them: children in fatherless families are more likely to experience emotional problems or trouble in school, teen pregnancy, incarceration and are more apt to exhibit aggressive behavior, according to the National Father Initiative's website. That's all cautionary information, but if the child's biological father is a dangerous or extremely negative influence -- or is no longer alive, you may have no choice but to raise children alone. It's certainly a challenge, but you can do it successfully. After all, the number of parents in a household is not as important as the quality of parenting, reminds pychologist Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D, in an article in "Psychology Today."
Instructions
Get as much help as you can. If you have extended family in the area, ask for their help with child care or fixing things around the house. As a single parent, you're going to have a lot to do on a daily basis, and you'll do well to foster a supportive network around you. If you don't live near family, network with other single parents, willing friends or church members who can trade child care with you or assist you when you need it. Inform your child's teachers and other educators and child care providers about the situation. At the very least, keeping them abreast of your family dynamics may mean they'll be more willing to provide extra help with homework or give you a heads up when your child is having issues at school. They can also point you toward other resources in your community that may help you. Stay positive with your child. He may not have a father around, but don't give him the impression that he is lacking in love or affection. Children thrive with love as well as limits -- so that means being careful not to parent from guilt. Your child still needs you to set limits and enforce them. He needs love and discipline. Set a firm schedule, so your child knows what to expect. Single parenting is difficult, but try to anchor your daily activities around a few positive activities. Some of the most beneficial things you can do for your child include eating dinner together and reading to him at bedtime. If you're forced to work long hours or work during dinner, do these family activities as often as you possibly can. Get your child to help around the house. Not only will the extra hands be a great help, but chores also teach your child about responsibility and can teach them about gratitude, suggests professor Nancy Darling, Ph.D., in an article in "Psychology Today." Be open about your child's father. While your child might not be ready to hear about the realities of domestic violence or your late husband's tragic death, resist the urge to outright lie about the situation. Find an age-appropriate way to discuss the subject with your child, and be willing to discuss it anytime he wants to. Plan positive one-on-one experiences with your child on a regular basis, even when time and money are in short supply. Play soccer in the park together, read books in the library or explore a museum on a free day. The time you spend together may not make up for the father's absence, but it will make your child feel loved and cherished -- and that's vital to his future happiness.
