How to Teach Your Child Right From Wrong Using Morals and Values
Teaching your child right from wrong using morals and values requires a deep commitment to choose the hard path and willfully set good example. You need to show your children the morals and values that are important to you as you can̵7;t expect children to learn morals on their own. Exercise patience as your child develops moral reasoning skills, and keep in mind that the end goal is for your children is to independently choose moral behavior even when no one is looking.
Instructions
Write a clear statement of your own morals and values. You must be crystal clear on the morals and values that are important to you if you are to have any hope of imparting the same to your children. Sitting back and expecting kids to naturally pick up on your desired character traits is a recipe for raising kids with no moral compass. List character traits such as honesty, compassion, kindness, respect, responsibility, integrity, self-control, trustworthiness, loyalty, helpfulness, friendliness, courtesy, kind, cheerfulness, obedience, thrift, courage and reverence. Describe the actions, words and attitudes that give evidence of a person who possesses each trait. Model the moral behavior you expect from your children. Society conditions children into the rights and wrongs for their cultural environment. However, this external learning is not necessarily healthy. Children learn more from what you do than what you say, so if you expect your children to be charitable, let them see you giving and set up a plan for them to practice giving from their allowance. If you expect honesty, show them through your actions that moral and ethical behavior is a serious matter, and that you truly believe what you say. Start teaching simple moral reasoning when the child is a toddler. Don't expect children to naturally develop moral intelligence. Keep it simple and use actions rather than lots of words. For example, when a young child pulls your hair, put him down and walk away briefly to establish cause and effect thinking. "When I pull Mommy's hair, I lose her attention." Kids will tune out long logical explanations and reprimands. But if you can establish connection between actions and consequences, they can learn to evaluate their behavior choices independently. Teach children that doing that which is right and good is more important than what is easy or convenient. Use any religious teachings that speak to you to support the value of choosing the hard road. Use role playing to demonstrate how to stand up to peers when it would be easier to go along with the crowd. Practice delayed gratification with children. The habit of expecting instant gratification, which is perpetuated by the speed of modern technology, does a disservice to parents trying to teach their children morals and values. Don't be afraid to make children wait and teach them how to wait gracefully. Establish a connection between desires and work to avoid raising children with an entitlement mentality and victim complex. Set reasonable expectations. Balance permissions with limits and watch for teachable moments. When a child makes a poor choice, maintain your cool and lead with empathy. Don't try to handle a situation when emotions are running high on either side. Take time outs for both yourself and the child. When heads are clearer, sit down and talk through the incident with the child. Help the child identify the impulses and motivations that led to the poor choice and role play a wiser response for the future. Ask questions that make the child do most of the thinking rather than lecturing. Let natural consequences establish the connection between reasons for the rules. For instance, if a child is roughhousing in the kitchen and breaks a plate, you have a teachable moment to ask the child to explain why you have a rule against playing in the kitchen. Make it safe to admit when the child makes a mistake. Don't overreact to misdeeds and don't be afraid to admit that you make blunders too. Lead by example by admitting to and apologizing for your mistakes and taking responsibility. Let the child know that even when she strays off the straight and narrow path, there is always a way back. Firmly establish the reality that you love the child no matter what and keep the doors of communication open.
