Can Parents Affect Their Children's Ability to Make Friends?

Whether your child prefers one friend or flutters around the playground like a social butterfly, parents want their children to have positive friendships. Your child will acquire the basic skills for making friends and developing social skills from you. You cannot choose your child̵7;s friends or insulate her from social pain. However, parents provide the guidance and encouragement that enables their child to maintain friendships and attract new friends.

  1. Mirror and Model Prosocial Behavior

    • Demonstrate and orally reiterate social behaviors such as empathy and inclusion that you want your child to mirror with others. Your influence as a role model remains far-reaching in your child̵7;s social development so monitor your words and actions. Teach empathy -- the ability to take another person's feelings into account -- by guiding your child in how to assess her feelings. For example, ask your child to talk about how she thinks the child felt who was not included in a play activity earlier in the day.

    Monitor for Progress and Problems

    • Observe how your child interacts with others, and provide guidance driven by her successes and problems. When you observe that your child waited patiently for a turn on the slide, and helped another child who appeared fearful, praise her and talk about the feelings associated with the experience. When you see that your child experiences problems with expressing her emotions appropriately or sharing toys with others, discuss what happened. Offer suggestions for how your child might respond differently to create a more positive outcome.

    Reassure Your Child

    • Shyness and poor self-confidence influence some children to remain on the sidelines or miss opportunities to meet new friends. Acknowledge your child̵7;s anxiety, and help her to feel more at ease about joining in the fun. Arrange play time at home where your child feels more secure than in an unfamiliar setting, and talk about some of the play activities your child might enjoy with her friend. Encourage your child to practice what she wants to say to her friend with you, and praise your child̵7;s efforts, according to the child development site KidsHealth.

    Plan a Winning Play Strategy

    • Children find play activities rewarding, and play time with other children is an exceptional opportunity to foster your child's friendships. Parents can help their children build friendships by creating the right environment for play, according to PBS.org. Start by choosing a play area that accommodates both quiet and more boisterous play activities, and then choose toys that children enjoy together. Fatigue can weigh on your child̵7;s fun, so limit the play date to no more than two hours.

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