What Are the Causes of Children Saying They Hate Themselves?

The last thing you want to hear as a parent is that your child hates herself. How you respond to her can aggravate the situation or help you establish the cause of such comments. Keeping in mind that you have not failed as a parent allows you to handle such a situation with a sober attitude and avoid getting into panic. It is also paramount that you let your child talk and get their thoughts and feelings out. Stay calm, do not overreact and reassure them physically and verbally that you love them. Several reasons can lead to a child saying they hate themselves, such as parental strife or bullying at school.

  1. Bullying

    • Bullying -- aggressive and unwanted behavior among children involving power imbalance -- has negative effects on a child who is bullied, the one who bullies and even children who witness bullying. Children who are bullied can experience negative emotions and are more likely to experience feelings of loneliness and sadness. Children who witness bullying are likely to feel helpless and blame themselves for not intervening in the situation. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' website, stopbullying.gov, bullying is linked to many negative effects, including substance abuse and suicide.

    Divorce

    • According to a report published on the North Carolina State University website, most children are afraid of change and often would rather have their parents together at all costs. Children become attached to their parents and can find it hard to cope when one of them is absent. Also, when one parent leaves, they fear they may lose the second parent as well. They may feel unloved, worry about who will take care of them or blame themselves for the divorce, causing feelings of guilt, shame and hatred toward themselves.

    Non-Supportive Parents

    • Non-supportive parents can make children feel unwanted. Parental love, involvement and responsiveness in a child̵7;s life are vitally important. Children look up to their parents for provision, love, support, reassurance and even a definition of who they are. According to the Heritage Foundation̵7;s website, familyfacts.org, children whose parents are present and supportive are less likely to suffer emotional distress. Psychological effects of child abuse or neglect by their parents include anxiety and withdrawal, which can cause a feeling of hatred towards themselves.

    Mood Disorder Conditions

    • Children who have had a psychiatric diagnosis for a mood disorder can be more sad and irritable. For example, a child who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder suffers episodes of hopelessness and sadness. Kids with dysthymia, another type of depression, often feel ̶0;down in the dumps̶1; and feel like nothing is worth the effort, according to Kids Health, a Nemours Foundation website. Children who suffer from such conditions honestly believe they are helpless to do anything about their difficult place. They may start speaking negatively about themselves, saying such things as ̶0; I am no good̶1; and ̶0;I hate myself.̶1;

    • Family structure has a profound impact on the development of children, either positively or negatively. Children who are born into the traditional family structure -- two married, biological parents -- have a greater chance of performing well in scho
    • Apprehension in a 7 year old often is triggered by separation anxiety. This is a typical age when a child worries about a parent dying or leaving. A mother may notice that her child suddenly becomes clingy, begs to stay home from school each day and
    • According to the Child Development Institute, four is an age when children begin to increasingly use adult vocabulary and form complete sentences. They can tell stories---and they can also appreciate stories that others tell. Connecting the stories w