How to Deal With a Kid's Disappointment

It's understandable to want to shield and protect your child from unhappiness, but this is also an unrealistic goal. Everyone experiences frustrations in life, including children. When disappointments happen, the way you approach the challenge will teach your child important life lessons. A proactive approach as you handle your child's disappointment will show your child how to cope and encourage a positive attitude in your youngster.

Instructions

    • 1

      Remain calm, even if your youngster is upset. By keeping your composure, you help keep your child calmer, advises the Scholastic website. An overreaction from you might make your child even more upset. Your calm demeanor communicates to her that her disappointment isn't the end of the world.

    • 2

      Discuss the disappointment with your child. A discussion gives your child a chance to talk about it and express emotions. If your youngster needs help recognizing and naming emotions, provide this assistance. Sometimes kids don't have a firm handle on feelings. Discussing feelings also gives you an opportunity to learn details about the situation, which might enable you to provide assistance and guidance.

    • 3

      Separate your child's personal feelings from the disappointment, if possible. It's common for a child to take disappointment personally and assume that someone doesn't like him or isn't being "fair," advises Karen Stephens, director of Illinois State University Child Care Center. Instead, adjust your child's perspective so he sees that the teacher chose the lead for the play based on student acting skills.

    • 4

      Talk about a similar disappointment you experienced to help your child see that others have felt disappointments and recovered. Share positive details about what you did to recover and bounce back after feeling disappointed and frustrated.

    • 5

      Lead your child in a positive direction to help him feel better. You might ask him to tell you one positive thing about the situation so he can focus on anything positive that resulted from the disappointing incident, suggests extension agent Sheila Gains with the Colorado State University Extension. As you look for positives, you can help your child realize that it's often possible to find both good and bad in a situation. Sometimes a positive outcome might be a lesson learned from a mistake.

    • 6

      Suggest positive coping strategies to move past the disappointment, recommends the Illinois Early Learning Project. Your child might plan a new goal or project to focus time and energy on something new. You could plan an excursion to the park or the zoo. Your youngster could also draw or write about feelings to express them and move forward.

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