How to Communicate with Your Tween

When your child enters the tween years, you might feel like you don't know what end is up. One day, she's easygoing and communicative, and, the next day, she might spend all day sulking in her room without any explanation. Tweens are notorious for seemingly unexplainable mood and attitude changes, reports Aha! Parenting. Although you might need to change the way you communicate with your tween, you can still maintain a close, bonded relationship.

Instructions

    • 1

      Maintain your level of closeness, no matter how hard she tries to push you away. Seek opportunities to communicate, even if it means making small talk. Ask her about her day or what she plans to do over the weekend. Show her that you are interested in her life, thoughts and emotions.

    • 2

      Use active listening techniques to show that you are fully engaged in the conversation. Active listening means using "I" statements and then providing clarification to ensure that you've understood the message. For example, you might say something like "I hear you saying that you felt angry at Sasha. Is that what you felt when she ignored you during lunch?" According to Dr. Kay Kosak Abrams, a psychologist at the Abrams & Associates psychotherapy practice in Kensington, Maryland, active listening helps your tween feel affirmed and empowered.

    • 3

      Validate his emotions. Don't try to change the way he feels, as this will inevitably push him further away. Demonstrating empathy will help him feel more connected to you and more likely to want to talk, according to Scholastic. Remember what it was like to go through your own preadolescence and show compassion for his struggles. If he feels upset by something you think is silly, try to see the situation from his point of view. What might seem trivial in your eyes can be a mountain to your tween.

    • 4

      Avoid offering unwanted advice. Although you mean well and you want the best for your child, your tween has to figure out how to deal with challenges on her own. But, if she asks for advice, be supportive and help her figure out a way to solve the problem.

    • 5

      Ask open-ended questions. Closed-ended questions can only be answered with a yes or no, such as "Do you have plans for the weekend?" and do not require a more extensive reply. Open-ended questions, however, usually invite a longer response and may encourage your tween to enter a dialogue with you. You can easily create an open-ended question from a closed-ended one. For example, you might rephrase your question as "What are your plans for the weekend?"

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • Cool Ways to Teach Integrity to Middle Schoolers
      Integrity, or the act of being true to yourself and to others, is one of the most important concepts that children can learn. It is also one of the most abstract and therefore difficult concepts to teach because its meaning can vary among people. Par
    • Your Child at 3: Milestones
      At around age 3, children’s imaginations and language skills seem to get supercharged. They’re figuring out all kinds of words, making up stories and play activities, and learning to build relationships. Mixed in with all this fun, they’re also tryin
    • Preschool Speech Language Therapy Activities
      The National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders estimates that between 8 to 9 percent of young children have some form of speech sound disorder, the majority of which have no known cause. Boys tend to have a greater rate of speec