How to Give Children Praise

You think your child is wonderful just the way she is, and you tell her that on a regular basis because you want her to feel good about herself. Praise is good for her self-esteem and emotional development, right? Yes -- but only if given in the right way. Recent studies have concluded that praising children simply for being themselves may be detrimental. To help your child develop into a secure, ambitious, successful adult, you may need to change the way you praise her.

Instructions

    • 1

      Limit general, repetitive praise like "You're great" or "You're so smart," which can seem empty and meaningless when dished out constantly. Praise that's not constructive will have little impact on your child, says psychologist Susan Newman in the article "Praising Kids: ̶0;Good Job!̶1; Doesn̵7;t Cut It Anymore" for "Psychology Today." If he is used to receiving praise, regardless of what he achieves, he may grow up believing that he doesn't need to try harder because you will be happy whatever he does. Additionally, he may struggle to cope with the criticism and failure that are an inevitable part of adulthood.

    • 2

      Give a child relevant, specific feedback rather than continuous praise, suggests Newman. A University of Chicago and Stanford University study found that a child's approach to difficult tasks is influenced by the type of praise she receives from her parent. Specific or "process" praise encourages a child to strive for improvement. An example of specific praise is "You've done so well to get an A in your science test. That's down to all the studying you did!"

    • 3

      Focus on the effort your child makes, rather than the outcome, suggests clinical psychologist and child development expert Debbie Glasser. For example, you could praise your child for his efforts in a tennis match, even if he didn't win, by saying something like, "I can tell how much you enjoyed that, and your serve has improved so much!" This type of praise will boost his self-esteem because it isn't dependent on whether he wins the match. He won't associate his self-worth with winning, coming in first or being the best.

    • 4

      Praise your child at home whenever she has earned it -- for example, "Thank you for washing the dinner dishes. You've done a great job of rinsing the glassware!" This acknowledges the effort your child has made and encourages her to continue to work hard.

    • 5

      Show an interest in what your child is doing, suggests Newman. Let him know that you are paying attention to his efforts, whether he is practicing a dive at the swimming pool, learning a song for the school play or arranging his comic collection. Ask questions and really listen to his answers. The more responsive you are to his efforts, the more confident he will be.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • Moving Onwards: Your Three-Year-Old’s Development
      One of the greatest joys as a parent is watching your child learn and develop, but how do you know if she’s on track and hitting her milestones? What can you do to help her become confident in her abilities to move on to the next level?At three-years
    • Child Development Psychosocial Stages
      In 1956 psychiatrist Erik Erikson came up with eight stages of psychosocial development that progress from birth through late adulthood. During the early years of life a child goes through psychosocial crisis that have to be worked through before he
    • Love & Logic in Detached Children
      Emotional detachment in children can occur if a child or baby does not receive enough attention or love. Children who dont form emotional attachments are more prone to become involved in antisocial behavior when they get older. Children need attentio